It's Time

Time for ... PICTURES. With the New Year upon us and a BUSY season just behind, we're going to rely on the power of photos to share what life has held these past few weeks and months.


In November we got to spend ten days taking care of these fabulous three littles ...

Varney, Emily & Maggie ... too cute, right?

... and somebody turned 30 ...




... and we got lots of opportunities to hang out with the most perfect baby - Sophie ...
... and spend Christmas with family - this was my best Christmas present ...
... and our lil' sis, Cait, returned from Germany in time for Christmas fun with our most fabulous and entertaining niece, Alli Kay - "MAS PRESENTS!" ...
... just yesterday we celebrated our dear Kristen Jones becoming Mrs. Kristen White ... ... and in general just keep lovin' the chance to live life together.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!

powerless

i hate feeling powerless. i might hate it more than any other sensation. it's not a new feeling. it shouldn't surprise me. it's something my head reconciled a long time ago. but i still hate it.

the thing is, i don't know that i ultimately want power (some would call it control, but i want to avoid that word so as to side-step the "control freak" title), but in moments that i'm aware of how much power i DON'T have, it's like a rug just got pulled out from under me. why is that? i already knew there was no rug, why am i surprised when i look down and see it's not there?

since updating this blog has fallen by the wayside (something that IS within my power and brings up my other weakness: not doing something because i'm embarassed by how long i haven't done it already ... and so the cycle goes), i want everyone to understand that really, our lives are practically fantastic right now and i'm just in the middle of a little meltdown. my plate's been full, my wheels have been spinning, and my heart's been connected to a lot of those wheels. so i'm tired. and when i get tired, i feel like all the energy i've expended to make me so tired feels futile, and thus the powerlessness.

wheel #1: jason's medical mystery continues. test upon test upon test. what we now know is that there is fluid build-up, at least in the ear and maybe in the head? what we don't yet know is whether the cause can be identified. we really don't want to just treat symptoms, but are running out of options on finding the cause. the biggest challenge is his fatigue level - it's just not who he's ever been, so it's taken a lot for either of us to adjust to it, and at the same time, we'd rather not "just adjust" - what's really going on inside him!?

wheel #2: a new field of law for me. i'm now working with a *dear* friend in long beach two days a week. she runs a family law practice and i'm not gonna lie, it's just never easy learning a new field. but i must say, the hour commute is a lot easier to handle now that i've seen how some traffic systems work!

wheel #3: speaking of new fields, i've ventured into the real estate market and have been working with some friends to try and sell their home here in corona (yes, in the worst market in the nation). i can hardly explain how exhausting this has been (which shouldn't be a surprise given the last parenthetical, but like i said, even if i know a rug isn't there, i still land flat on my butt when i feel like it got yanked out from under me). in fact, let me take a minute to solicit prayers that we can close escrow!!! i'm ready to be just the friend again and drop the agent title.

and while i jog on my little spinning wheels, i'm still trying to reconcile what i know to be True about He who has made us and considers powerless lessons a good thing, designed to remind me
that He likes to be depended on, needs to be depended on, and is the only truly powerful or dependable source i've got.

Parting the Myst

and he awoke...


So my Doctor tells me on Firday that my latest issues (pulse,numbness,tingling,breathing,etc) are all in my head. Great, there goes my excuse for sitting around watching nothing all day. Then he has the nerve to tell me to get back to living my normal life. Oh sure! Easy for him to say - he doesn't have an eye trying to pop out of his skull! But he is right, of course, much as I don't like to admit it. Our physical lives can really take a toll on our spiritual and emotional lives. SO while I do have headache issues and according to the nuerologist those are gonna stick around a month or two, I have been causing myself some severe stress over my constant watching of physical symptoms. So I have been making myself more sick than I really am by my subconscious worrying. Do I even need to draw the Spiritual parallels for you on this one? I do this with God all the time. I take what may be either nothing, or something small in his economy and I worry it into something gigantic and dehabilitating. That sucks. My doctor says I need to feel free to live normal life. The past 2 days I have been trying to and you know what, I feel as if the myst parted. I feel as if I woke up. I feel pretty darn good...


Can I say how much I love Fall. Even though right now the weather is 89 degrees I know it will get cold again and I love it.

-September schools start up and the newness, the unbridled potential for amazing life changing events occurs within the scholastic world. Not to mention college football begins.

-October comes along and the change of seasons begins (well everywhere but Southern California). This is my birthday month so no surprise that it is part of my favorite season. Not to mention baseball playoffs begin.

-November brings the harvest and Thanksgiving and the beginning of the great food and family festivity weeks. Not to mention one can feel Christmas hanging around the edges of one's life. Plus this is the month that USC usually beats up on Notre Dame (I know they lost to Stanford but you can't win all your games at home so it was destined to happen sometime).

-December for me is a rush of emotion. Not including seeing friends, Christmas carols, classic Christmas TV shows, wrapping gifts, Christmas decorations, and all the Christmas goodies, I have to admit I enjoy the crazy shopping times. These aren't a chore or a waste of time, they are a few hours of relationship building for each person I buy for. Though these people don't know it, my heart and mind are connected to them as I take the time to find that which may not be on their list but once recieved is cherished and appreciated as a token of being known and understood. I love the risk that is involved in buying for people something specific. Relationship is all about risk, and Christmas can be one of the more relationally risky moments of the year. And yes I do think the idea of giving gifts compliments the reality of Christ's birth quite well. This is a celebration. This is a time to remember that God gave his greatest gift and Christ risked all for relationship with us. This is a month that for some reason I feel more connected with Him than any other time of the year. It's also a month to snog with my wife by the fireplace and in front of the Christmas tree. Not to mention all the College football bowl games begin. I know it's not everybody's favorite time, and for many it may bring up painful family experiences but for me it is a spiritual retreat, and one that I am thankful for...


Well that's more than I intended to write so I hope all is well in the worlds of our friends, and

Happy Fall...


-Jason

thank you cards

so last night i had a dream that we were going from doctor to doctor (isn't my subconsious creative?), but along the way we were stopping to write thank you cards and send thank you gifts. i'm not quite sure if they were to the doctors or to friends or what ... but when i woke up i was so aware of how thankful we really are right now. we have such a GOOD Father. so this morning i wanted to write this short note as a thank you card to Him.

spinal tap thursday

okay, not every thursday, just this thursday. if you read this before then, lift J up since they'll be sticking a needle in his spine. should tell us a lot, though, so that will be good. thanks!

filling in the blanks

wow, how sad that we're so much worse at keeping this up-t0-date now that we have internet at our fingertips just about 24/7. umm, yeah ...

so the last three weeks have been, well ... exhausting. we've been in and out of doctors' offices, labs, specialists, and each other's arms as we try to find an idea or two about the craziness in jason's head - no, not his loveable and zany wit, but headaches, vision issues, numbness in arms and head/face, swollen eyelid, small pupil, pounding metal in rythym with his heartbeat, sleep paralysis, etc., etc., etc.

we have been receiving EXCELLENT medical care and attention, but right now we're in the place where we've ruled out a lot (all the serious stuff like stroke, anurism, hemorraghing) but still have the doctors scratching their heads in fascination of a weird combination of symptoms.

in the midst of all this, we moved to corona (yay), and i have been re-adapting into a work-from-home schedule to juggle.

we have been so blown away by the countless reminders from our Dear Father that He is intimately involved and keeps providing in amazing ways. around random bends in the road, from work phone calls right when we need it, to dinner being brought over by friends at church , to an anonymous envelope with cash (hello!?), to other surprises, there is no way we can question that He wants us to KNOW He is at work.

so that's us. we're tired. we've had to apply a lot of this year's life lessons this month, especially Who to Fear. but we're together, so we're good.

Door #2

So, it's been some busy days. Lots going on - moving to Corona, working hard on what comes while watching our funds dip lower and lower, visiting doctors and hearing fun things like "hmmm, weird". I mention it all not to complain but because with all that have come reminders of lessons we learned that need to be put into practice - we can fear everything, or fear God. We choose door #2. He's provided an abundance of practical reminders that He's two steps ahead.

Now in the midst of this crazy week, we got an email from a friend in Bangladesh - yeah, turns out they've got a flood covering most of their districts. He sent some pictures and all week they've been in my head. Reminding me what to be thankful for here. And what to pray for our brothers and sisters there. The pictures are pretty intense and I'm going to upload them here even though they're pretty small. Let them remind you, too ...

Putting the word out

Alright, here's the deal. We've been given a story. We'd like to tell it. Anywhere and to anyone. Men. Women. Youth. 10 people. 1000 people. So if you know anyone that wants to hand us the floor/mic/whatever, let us know.

Life and Life

It's been an interesting week. Lots to think about LIFE. When it starts, when it ends ...

Most of you know that I came home with a passion for adoption - among other passions :), basically all of which revolve around the fundamental goal of connecting needs to resources.

So I've been pursuing work in the adoption field, anywhere from practicing adoption law to working for an agency to whatever would teach me more. This week brought the idea of possibly working in a program for Embryo Adoption - a brand new (for me) avenue. And a direct answer to prayer from our very personal Lord - I cried out to him on Thursday that I was out of ideas, and on Friday this new idea called. It's been simply fascinating to contemplate all the issues that science now brings, the ethical and moral considerations involved, and the simple awe of a God who still controls what we think we might have mastered - for instance, I was told of a story where one embryo was implanted and identical twins were born, reminding us all that as much as science can answer, there is still a Sovereign who dictates when and how life begins.

We also attended a funeral this week in celebration of a 95-year life that has now ended. There's nothing more humbling than honoring such a long life, and I'll admit that half of my tears were for the family that is now mourning her, and half were in contemplation of what funerals my future holds - who will be the last of my close friends to pass? Who will be the first? How will we all cope with saying goodbye? I'm not being morbid, really I'm not. And then yesterday we were talking to this dear woman at church who said "I have leukemia, so I'm dying" ... she said it with such a sparkle in her eye and a readiness to meet the Lord, that once again, we were set back on our heels in wonder.

Life. What will we do with it? What will you?

Girls!

Girls that I LOVE!!!! Yes, this is Brooke writing. Had a blast last weekend re-uniting with old roomies. We're all spread out around the country now, but the beautiful new mama (Erin) just moved back to Cali, so it was time for a reunion. Enjoy the cuteness (her name is Sophie).

We have a house!

Okay, it's not ours, but we'll be house-sitting in Corona - SO close to church, yay - starting in September through January. We're SO excited to be in one place for awhile, and though we've had our socks blessed off by those who have welcomed us in, it's time for us to stretch our elbows in "our own space" for a bit. Yay yay yay.

Woolly Wonderland

Alright, there are no longer (were there ever?) Woolly Mammoths here in the great land that has them as its mascot, but Mammoth is still a wonderland to explore. We've spent the last week up here with the Miller family, and as I write, the rain is coming down strong amidst peals of thunder - the perfect ending, really. Yesterday we were chased out of the high country by this same storm that has now followed us all the way back to the condo. But we did make it through Duck Pass up to Duck Lake, about 11,000 feet - BEAUTY! The week has also been filled with lots of simple things like rest, fishing, golf, and house-hunting (for our bro/sis-in-law, not us). All the while we are trying to fight the anxiety bug that wants to make us worry when we try to puzzle piece the future. We know whose capable and trustworthy hands hold all things practical, and there we too must stay.

Sevens

Well here in the 7th month of the year we've been surrounded by several sevens. One of our dearest friends, Kristen, got engaged on 7-7-07; so cute, I know. It's fun, too, because I (Brooke) lived with her when I got engaged, and we are now staying with her when she's gotten engaged.

And last weekend we had seven munchkins to love on over at the Spansels. These are the ones we talk about virtually nonstop. Mom had a birthday to celebrate, so we took over for a night. Umm, hello a lot of work. The kids are AMAZING, and have been raised to be delightful. But still, a lot of time and attention to pour out of two into seven. But also a ton of fun. We're definitely going to be the kind of parents that gush about our own kids and tell all their funny little stories and retorts and such.

And finally, in seven short days we'll be spending seven days in dear old Mammoth - a Miller family summer tradition. As crazy as we've felt while bouncing all around So. Cal., we're excited for the week of rest and play.

As I write this, J is in one interview only to head to yet another this afternoon. So we're hoping that we're close to knowing some next steps, but in the meantime life is FULL as we take each day.

Still reflecting

Have you ever looked at something without really feeling like you're grasping it? You keep looking, sometimes even straining, all the while trying to explain to someone what's in your line of vision, and you bounce between moments of clarity and blurs. That's kind of how this last month has felt. The last thing we want is for this last year to be packaged up with a pretty bow and set up on a shelf to look at as "our little adventure". This year was real life. This coming year is real life. How do we take what one year of life taught us and apply it to this next round of ever-moving life? At the same time, there is a necessary time of reflection and gazing after a year of this kind of significant lessons. We haven't written much this month because, while we've been talking and talking and talking as we catch up with loved ones, we often feel lost to aptly describe what we're thinking or feeling.

On the pragmatic side of life, our days in and days out have been full of continued grace as we are welcomed into one house after another - but we're so ready to land in a little corner of the world we can call our own again! So of course we're looking for jobs, both traditional and not-so-orthodox, knowing that we would be fools to think the Father would lead every step for this last year only to abandon us now that we're in a place we "know".

We'll try to get better about intentionally describing what we're peering at through the looking glass as real life continues.

Three Down

This marriage business is an amazing gift, let me tell ya. Today marked three years from the time we stepped out into this wide world as man and wife. We could not be more thankful or amazed at what has been given to us in three short years ...

Life back in the not-so-fast lane

Two weeks yesterday. Two weeks of “being back” that are entirely difficult to try and summarize or explain, aside to say that it’s been very good, but very surreal. What we didn’t expect when we stepped out of LAX was for everything to be so normal. Like we’d never left. Like you feel when you’ve been engrossed in a movie and then walk back out of the theatre – just an eight month movie. Fiji was a real gift from God as it was basically our de-brief week. We didn’t do much of anything. We talked, reflected, prayed, cried (okay, I think that was just me and not Jason), and worked through the emotions and anticipation of this chapter ending and preparing to turn the page of the next.

I can tell you this, though. We feel called to this culture. That has drastically changed the way we see things. When we turned our cell phones on, it certainly didn’t feel good to sign a contract obligating us to pay more each month for cell phone usage than food and lodging would have cost for weeks in Vietnam. But in a culture that communicates and relates and connects via instant cellular connection, we can honestly say we are choosing that expense as a means of ministering in this society. It’s interesting, actually, to be using those words, because I think when for eight months you’ve been looking and analyzing what you see as a culture around you, you do the same when you return – you recognize things that you didn’t before, and you recognize them as cultural distinctions – “normal life” for Southern California, maybe, but not necessarily “normal life” around the world.

One of those cultural distinctions is just how fast everything and everyone moves here. Like everything is a frenetic race. There is such a fast-paced-production-driven mentality in this home culture of ours, and seeing it again in action has helped cement some things about what we came to understand about how America is perceived around the world – in politics, in missions, etc. Somewhere along the journey we slowed down internally and we don’t want to race back into the fast lane, but to live at a pace where we can breathe.

Mark 5:19 is a treasured directive to us right now … “Go home to your friends and family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” The mercies and things He’s done for us this year are abundant, so we’re processing and praying and taking whatever doors open to share it, whether from behind a microphone or across a coffee table.

The time has come ...

It is absolutely surreal to think that the time has come to say that we will be back on U.S. soil in just a week's time.

There really isn't any way to describe how it feels to be looking ahead and looking back with such fondness for both.

Guess we'll have to take a vote on whether to keep up this blog once we have cell phones again ... but for at least this last week we'll be sequestered away from the internet as we take deep and ponderous breaths.

It has been GREAT to share this journey with you. Cheers.

Puzzle Pieces

I've been thinking about puzzle pieces all day ... the way things fit just right. The pieces might look odd alone, but together they make sense.

We've been in a lot of different styles and formats and sizes of fellowship these past eight months. From five of us sitting in an apartment with praise on our lips, to crowded grass-roofed clay buildings with an old gas-can serving as the tambourine, to programs where entrance is based on your passport, to standing among thousands while singing along to a well-polished praise band, to a side-street mission that hosts a fascinating blend of young artists and the down-and-out. All different pieces to the same puzzle. Each looks and feels different, and sometimes might not even make a lot of sense, until you step back and look at how they all fit. We know because WE fit in each one. We might not have always looked or felt like we did, but nonetheless each was home when the name of the Son was lifted up.

We've also been in and out of so many types of homes and families it can make the head spin. Each fascinatingly shaped and crafted to fit into one amazing trip this year. This particular puzzle is nearly complete - almost every piece has now been fit together and we can look back on a beautiful piece of work that didn't always make sense if we were looking at just one piece or another.

But the other puzzle - the one that all us oddly shaped pieces make up as believers - that one's not complete yet. Maybe soon. Maybe Someone is looking at a nearly completed picture. Maybe there are still a lot of missing pieces. We've seen only the tiniest corner, but it's beautiful ...

B-E-A-utiful

The other day I heard a quote that photo albums (substitute blogs) are made up of one pretty snapshot to another. The normal days are what get you between snapshots. Well, lest anyone be confused, life is still full of normal days when you're travelling the world, but those snapshot days are pretty incredible.

Yesterday was a snapshot day. Our trigger-happy fingers snapped plenty of shots, actually, and we'll post them soon. Sydney is B-E-A-utiful! Seriously, one of the prettiest cities I've ever been in.

The Royal Botanic Gardens near the Opera House highlighted our day yesterday. Wild Cockatoos are in the trees (have we mentioned Australia's amazing birdlife!? Rainbow Lorikeets EVERYWHERE). Fruit bats - hundreds of them - decorated one corner of the gardens. Creepy and fascinating at the same time. Not too used to seeing bats in the daylight. But remember, this is still in a CITY, not a wildlife preserve or something.

The water of the Harbour is just as clear as the see-through waters of the Islands that we've become so fond of.

And the Opera House ... well, it really is an odd building, isn't it? But it works - it caught our eye all day, reminding us "we're in SYDNEY - yay".

It's definitely colder here down South, but despite rain forecasts, the sun has befriended us and is now beckoning us to a second day of exploring this beautiful city.

42 Wallaby Way Sydney

Well we leave today for major Road Trip #2. Where are we going? I'll tell you where we're going - P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.

The closer we get to coming home and talking about all this in person, the more difficult I find it to write and tell you about it. But one thing should be made clear. If you ever get a chance to come to Australia, make it a priority. It really is an amazing place to visit...

When we finish this week long road trip and return to our comfortable castle in Brisbane, the family we are staying with will be gone on a trip of their own. It will be interesting to have a few days here on our own. They have become dear friends, and we will miss our nightly conversations. It is truly amazing how God orchestrates our lives, who we will meet, and how long we will have with them. The house and the car they have let us borrow has certainly been a blessing, but we have been far more blessed by their companionship these past few weeks...

So here is a strange thing. As we travel south it gets colder. Welcome to living upside down. And for those of you wondering, yes when you flush the toilet the water does spin the other way...

Looking forward to seeing all of you soon!

Grammar

Ideal. Adjective. Camping along the Eastern Australian Coast, awaking to sunrise on the Pacific each morning.

Awe. Noun. A feeling of wonder at pausing in the middle of the ocean and being told to jump into the coral wonderland below.

Wonder. Verb. The force that works against keeping your jaw closed around the snorkel while floating above coral gardens of vibrant colors.

Vibrant. Adjective. Colors of coral and fish that make Nemo’s anemone look like a common apartment.

Unbeatable. Adjective. Taking a boat two hours off shore to ‘Bait Reef’ with five other people, strapping on an oxygen tank, and scuba diving with Turtles and Sharks.

Surreal. Adjective. Holding the hand of the one you love as you swim through and above the awesome, wonder-inspiring, vibrant and unbeatable environment that is the Great Barrier Reef.

Humility. Noun. The only response possible to the One creative enough to confound the mind and heart with the wonders the eyes can take in.

Muckadilla

So, The Outback. No, not the restaurant. I’m talking the real, honest, actual bush walking, kangaroo hunting, livestock raisin’, desert meets farming Aussie Outback. It was awesome. A totally different pace of life from what us city folk are used to. It was Geoff’s sister’s home and they live on 40,000 acres give or take just outside of ‘Muckadilla’ – could there be a better name for a town? They raise cattle, sheep and goats, but they also have wild goats, emu, and kangaroos. It’s his sister, her husband, and one hired man that run the whole thing. They were very kind and generous, drove us around the land and gave us an Australian Safari. It was fun seeing the Roos and Wallaby hopping about. Right now they are in the middle of a very difficult drought so there’s not much for their stock to eat. But they don’t complain much. They trust the good Lord for what they need, and live by sun up and sundown. It’s a simple but not easy way of life and I can see how it could be very rewarding. The first thing you notice is the quiet, followed by all the stars at night. It is always amazing to “be still and know”…

I (Jason) got up at 3:45 in the morning and climbed a local mountain with some of the “mates” from here. In the words of one of them, “A- maze- ing”. The views were incredible, and the climb was sketchy at best. But it was awesome to be out and about in God’s creation. We feel very at home here, because so much of the culture and terrain is similar to California. Geoff and Lyndal have been great friends to have here. So generous with their time and resources. God has surrounded us with wonderful people both home and abroad and we are thankful.

We leave on Tuesday to go up the northern coast so we may be out of internet for a while but we’re getting close to coming home, we miss everyone, we’re excited to see you soon, and Australia is “A- maze- ing”.

Aussie Land

Not gonna lie, we’re pretty stoked to be introduced to Aussie Land. Friends of Steve & Kris Smith have welcomed us in and made us feel right at home. We’ve indulged in the simple pleasures like carpeted floors, thick mattresses, and mosquito-free walks. We’re just outside of Brisbane, which has stunningly endless skies and many places to explore within 100 km. or less. Tonight I’m going to put my Thai cooking class to the test and tomorrow we’re heading to the Outback … yes, THE Outback … for a few days. Cheers!

asia in the rear-view mirror

Today we counted to figure out that we've spent 4-1/2 of the last 6+ months in Asia. That ends tonight. Wow. We're on our way to Australia now, which we're super excited to explore. We are so grateful for the "play time" the Father is giving us, not to mention the cushion of a cultural stepping stone.

I wonder what Asia will look like in our rear-view mirror. To be honest, we never would have chosen to come to Asia, so it's funny that it's dominated our trip. But we've loved so much of it and been introduced to an important side of the world that we couldn't really appreciate without our time here.

V-Tech, PBA & Norco

This year has placed me in positions where I’ve felt more vulnerable than ever before – between traffic insanities, diseases I can’t even pronounce carried by bugs of all shapes and sizes, political instability and loud protests, questionable standards or transportation, villages where people have been arrested and/or martyred for their faith – recently, and a passport from a country now known as a target. We’ve been in places where it wouldn’t be all that surprising to have something devastating happen, something even fatal – because it has, and it just so happens that it wasn’t to us. I’m not going to pretend it’s been easy to be in those situations because the spirit of fear takes possibilities and makes the thought of them nearly paralyzing were it not for the One who is stronger than fear. But a classroom on a Virginia Campus is what we see has claimed the lives of over 30 people? This is crazy-making. A classroom never ranked on my most-vulnerable list.

The U.S. Supreme Court just surprised a lot of Americans by maintaining a ban on a procedure that surprises most of the world. I remember sitting with several international friends when partial-birth abortion was being debated in the Supreme Court back in 2000. “Barbaric” was the term they used – most of them from ‘liberal’ countries, all working in human rights and thinking the U.S. has no right pointing fingers at other human rights abuses while we continue to allow such procedures. How an article can in the same paragraph describe the procedure of crushing a fetus’ head and articulate that it could be considered anything less than murder honestly baffles me.

Last night we were watching a movie called “Rapid Fire”, based on a bank robbery that turned into the most violent battle of U.S. Law Enforcement history. It took place in Norco. Here we are sitting in Asia, reflecting on weeks and months of vulnerability that the Father has taken us through, and the movie we’re watching of such desperate and purposeless violence is taking place in NORCO.

In just over a month we return to our indigenous roots. I had a dream the other night – I was going to a play, one where I had a role but hadn’t learned my lines or remembered my cues from my Acting Coach. Countries all around this world are hurting, and ours is not an exception. The evil and desperation that would lead a 23-year old to shoot people because he was teased by rich brats … the disconnection from logic in debating the killing of a living fetus … the violence brought on by a drive for nothing more than money. This is the set stage for the roles we all have to play. What are our lines? What are our cues? What has our Acting Coach been teaching us that we need to put into practice?

You just gotta see it

The last day of the Festival (Sunday) we made our way down to a local Starbucks that boasts a third story. From this vantage point we were able to capture these moments for you to get an idea of what we were trying to describe. We of course got drenched again on the way back, but it was a hot day, and even when you want to get mad when a bucket's dumped on you, those dang smiles keep you laughing.

Elephants!

Yay, I got to play with Elephants - a feisty one year old who liked to play tug of war and is STRONG. But stinking adorable!

Songkran = WET

Wow, Thais don't mess around when it comes to celebrating. Songkran, the Thai New Year, is celebrated for three full days ... and day number two is just starting. Yes, we're back in Thailand - up north in Chiang Mai this time. Which just so happens to be the main hub for celebrating Songkran. We're not talking party hats and noise makers, but all out water warfare - with a smile. Pretty much if you go out during the day you're going to get soaked ... and I mean SOAKED. We spent 11 hours on a boat in the Philippines (not the best idea we've ever had) which was basically Big Foot Rapids on steroids, but I think we got even more wet during our thirty-minute tuk-tuk (rickshaw taxi) ride yesterday. It's pretty amazing. People literally line the roads armed with buckets of all sizes and large bins full of water - some clean, some not so clean. Beds of pick-up trucks are converted into mobile water-launching machines when 5-10 Thais of all ages crowd in with squirt guns and buckets. But the absolute best part is the constant grins that you see everywhere you look. This is just a FUN festival. It's like a youth group event that the whole country joins in on for DAYS. Even when someone nails you with a bucket of ice-cold or river-warm water, once you wipe the water from your eyes and catch the smile, you can't help but smile back.

God - the Magnificent Artist

I read a quote the other day and I don't remember it exactly but I can fake it enough to get the point across ...

Nothing pleases the creater more than to have others explore his creation.

This has not hit so close to the heart as this past week. For some reason it is easy to believe that anything we enjoy is "selfishness" and not of our creator. Yet plainly we serve a God who delights in being delighted in. Swim his waters and see the myriads of colors and shapes. Walk his shores and see the rugged coast contrast with smooth perfectly white sand. Sit beneath his sky and watch the deep blue explode into pinks and yellows as the sun sets for the day. The attention to detail speaks of an artist who takes pride in the beauty of his craft. One who takes pleasure in the praise, awe, and wonderment of those who behold the work of his hand. During this easter week I didn't read much of his story written on paper, but I heard his witness shouted through a thosand voices of fish and island, rock and water, hue and scape. We have run along his canvas, swam in his aquariam, bathed in the beauty of his creativity.

Who can fathom the depth of our God? Our Magnificent artist?

Umm, yeah ...

Incommunicado

Just wanted to give everyone a heads up that we don't expect to have internet access for the next week or so. We're headed to Palawan - our bodies and minds are so ready for a week of pure and simple holiday ... well, it does include a 9-hour bus ride, so maybe simple isn't the right word ... well, we'll let you know next week!

The Best of Bangkok

Our time in Bangkok just started and is nearly done, but as always, the Father knew what we needed and when.

We've had a fabulous time connecting with Santosh - a friend from Orange that is working here this year. We joined him in one of the local slums on Thursday where he and a few others have started to teach English in order to build relationships. It's really encouraging to be reminded of all the simple ways to connect with communities - especially children, they are so ready for relationship all around the world.

Yesterday we took the morning to see Thailand - all of it, actually. There's a place called 'Ancient City' just outside of Bangkok. It's a park that's shaped like Thailand and has replicas of all the most famous sites in Thailand - not the original sizes, but not miniatures either. It sounds cheesy, but it's REALLY well done. Think Disney's California Adventure without rides, crowds or salespeople. The man who built this place really wanted to preserve authentic Thai history, and the replicas are pretty amazing, so it was a sweet way to see Thailand as we couldn't have otherwise seen it.

This morning J & Santosh played basketball and now we're headed for some famous Thai massage therapy to allow those muscles to keep travelling :), and tonight we fly out to the Philippines.

Catching you up

I guess we haven't said much about what we got to see/be a part of in Quy Nhon - likely a by-product of the saturation effect.

We were there to see two friends of mine from the days of Mariners College Group - Jason & Jill. Jill's prego with their first baby and oh so ready to meet her baby girl this summer! Both of them teach English and we got to be a part of some classes - because they're learning about geography/describing countries, it was a perfect time for us to share about where we've been so far. They had questions about the different foods, different clothes ... I don't know if it's possible to walk into a friendlier room than each classroom we visited.

Quy Nhon is a small town - mostly a fishing port; thus all the pictures of the vibrant boats. As soon as you get out of town, everything is green and wet and full of rice fields. It is absolutely beautiful - hopefully some of the pictures can give you a glimpse.

One of our favorite things to do was ride our bikes along the beach road - on the one side were beautiful islands out in the water, but on the other side was very real life occuring in front of you. Many of the homes were literally chopped in half to create the new road - it's still the family's home, but now half of the walls/roof are missing. Crazy.

Best of all was just the simple time with Jason, Jill, & their co-teacher Mark. It's so fun to laugh and share what the Father is teaching along this journey of life. Every time I think about sites or activities that fill the guidebooks, I also remember that I wouldn't trade the time that we've had with Family.

And now we're in Bangkok; we just have three days here, but as soon as we catch up from the last 30 hours of travel, we're excited to dig in.

Same Same

I love good endings, and we had the best ending to our time with Jason & Jill this weekend. We left Quy Nhon (kwin yawn) by train to Tam Ky (tom key) and then on to Hoi An (hoy on). Hoi An is charming, almost European-esque – it’s on the water, with shops and restaurants lining each side and lots of alleys to wander through.

It’s a definite tourist town, which is a bit of an anomaly for us. Probably the most English we’ve heard in a café in a long time (not to mention it just being the first time in a café in awhile), and the first day I was here I thought about divers – don’t they go through a process that’s kind of a slow re-entry to the surface after being submerged for awhile? Well, I took a deep breath and thought “okay, this is the beginning of that process for us.”

But even in entering a town where there are more people the “same” as us than not, there is a lot that is “same same”, the Asian equivalent to our “same, but different”. On the one hand, many of the travelers here are on the same kind of trip, but there are so many dynamics we’ve been allowed to experience that are missing from the typical “backpacker” trip … so many more faces to associate with places than sights alone. I want my life to be this way – same same. In the world, not of it. I’m nowhere close, and fight the desire of self-indulgence (not just satisfaction, mind you, but indulgence) on a nearly daily basis, but maybe success is more in the constant tension than anything else. What I know for sure is that the One who made me the same as those around me can also give me a heart that is same same.

“Only by full dependence upon Him are the hidden potentialities of our natures realized. Apart from this we are but half-men, malformed & unbeautiful members of a noble race once made to wear the image of its Creator.” – A.W. Tozer, Pursuit of Man

Saturation

So today I learned an important lesson – my pants get a bit indecent when saturated. And it didn’t take long for me to reach a saturation point in today’s downpour.

This matches a bit of what my heart and mind have felt lately: saturation. I’m not sure how much more I can absorb. There are moments I just feel done with being the tourist attraction for everyone to either practice their English on or to ask for money – or both. Moments I just want to know what I’m looking at in the grocery store. Or which direction to go to even get to the grocery store. And I think we reached our language capacity back in China.

The other day we found a “secluded” beach – it stayed secluded for about 15 minutes, until some of the local village children came to see the sights – us. ‘Personal space’ has no meaning, and I finally just started laughing when I looked up and was literally surrounded within inches. I had to fight the initial frustration in order to appreciate that it was pure curiosity that brought them, and finally as I sat up and laughed (the international language), their smiles in return won me over. Somehow I accidentally gave them the impression that I wanted them to collect seashells for me, so before I knew it I had about 10 pockets-full. By then my only frustration was the language barrier.

It’s not easy to be away from your home country for this long – but it is good. I was especially reminded of that yesterday as the Father renewed my heart. It was just one of those days when you’re aware of what you’ve been given. The air was clear, the day was bright, the islands off the coast inviting, and the breeze refreshing, not to mention the ridiculous privilege of getting to share life with those the Father has called here.

I still feel saturated, and now I know not to wear those pants if it looks like rain, but I’m glad to wake up where He has me.

Two by Two

This week we've been able to see Jason and Jill in action with their English students - all first year University students with the innocence that most American students lose around 4th grade.

Last night, two by two on their bicycles, they (some of the students) led us through Quy Nhon for Bun Cao, Che, and other Viatnamese dishes that I can't pronounce. It was a great time for them to practice their English and for us to get to know more of their life.

So far, SO good

Arrived in Vietnam last night and got to our friends this morning. Loved the train ride here and all the amazing scenery – this will sound silly, but I’m always excited when something looks like what I didn’t realize I expected it to until I see it – like women wearing the pointy straw hats … not because they’re “trying to look/dress Vietnamese”, but because we are actually in Vietnam and, uh, they ARE Vietnamese.

Was really a fun day connecting with Jason & Jill and getting a taste of their life at a University here in Quy Nhon. There’s something that will just always feel right about stepping foot on a university campus – we really love it.

First adventure in this country … learning how to navigate a bike alongside the myriads of other bikes and motorbikes and occasional taxis.

And oh yes, it’s so nice to be inhaling a sea breeze again … ahhh …

Wow…

Today we leave Bangladesh. We are on our way to Vietnam where friends of Brooke are teaching English. We will spend 2 weeks there. Amazing that we are already on our way to Vietnam. It seemed so far away. While there we will pass our 2-months-left mark. It is hard to explain how odd that seems. Even more difficult is fighting off the excitement to be at home with family and friends again. This trip has been amazing so far and I’m sure there is more “Amazing” to come but the fact is our hearts are made for “home” and we are ready to be there. But the Father is good and we know he will help us to be focused on the places and things He still has for us. Speaking of home, we are just starting to question what He might have for us to do and be a part of when we get home and we would appreciate your petitions and thoughts along those lines. We are committed as much as ever to not dwell on the future too much as we want to be fully engaged with where we are for the present, but we recognize that we will not be traveling forever and want to start the process of seeking the Father’s will for this next phase of our life…

Great Minds Think Alike – well, sometimes … and this is one of those

Saw a fight at the gas station this week. One auto rickshaw cut off a car as he waited in a long line. They started yelling at each other. Then one pushed the other. Then two other guys got involved. More yelling, more shoving. Then a fifth joined the fray and punches were thrown. One guy grabbed a 2x4. As the fight escalated our driver back out the car and took us to another gas station. It started me thinking - why do we act like this? What drives our anger as human beings? It was interesting timing as Brooke and I were set to teach from Mark 12 which identifies the focus of the believer’s life: to love God fully, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. In thinking through these two commandments a few things became apparent.

First, the world has spent all of history attempting to love their neighbor, without first loving God. So much energy has been poured into NGO’s, political movements, unilateral peace treaties, etc. … and while these things have had some good effects, they inevitably become abused by men who are ruled by greed and a sinful nature. It is therefore in my estimation impossible for man to truly love man without first loving God.

Second, our interaction with man and response to our neighbor is the physical manifestation of our spiritual beliefs. Every religion makes verbal claims to their love for God, and to some extent for each other. So there is no real separation of religions by words. This separation occurs as these words are given life through our actions. As the book of James says, “Faith without works is dead”. If I had been one of those guys at the gas station how would my response have been different? If as a believer our response to our neighbor in both good times and bad is in direct connection to the relationship of love God desires us to have, then our response will be different from the rest of the world, and the world will take notice. It makes me want to think about my heart and my actions a little more carefully than perhaps I have before.

New Eyes

I went in with eyes that were absorbing traffic and congestion of a busy city that makes traffic on the 91 seem like a vacation. I came out with eyes that could better appreciate that what I see is a long way from where they came. 36 years ago millions were flooding into India as refugees because of the mass genocide being wrought by Pakistani forces in a battle over the independence of Bangladesh as a nation. 36 years ago our friend’s mother lost two brothers in that war. 36 years ago journalists took pictures of walking skeletons somehow surviving a famine. 36 years ago the main leaders, educators, doctors, and intellectuals of the newly independent Bangladesh were murdered as Pakistan grudgingly lost the war and granted independence, betting on the instability that would be caused by killing their most educated citizens. I went in thinking that the environment would be a hard one to live in. I came out admiring that it is lived in today at all.

The source of my day’s education was the Liberation War Museum … a bit of a pre-taste, we suspect, for the museum awaiting us in Vietnam telling of our own country’s losses.

It is absolutely beyond reason what humanity can do to one another. I recently heard a comment that we cringe at animals who eat their young, but that pales in comparison to the atrocities humans perpetrate on humans. And the thing about taking in that kind of information is that it doesn’t seem possible that it could happen more than once. But it has and it does. Over and over and over again. And who is sought for the answers? Other broken humans – when a country’s in trouble, it calls to other “stronger” countries to step in. There’s a whole political balance that I won’t even try to analyze right now about when and where and how to intervene in world atrocities, but it strikes me as a paradox that we turn to another version of the very thing that’s attacking us. It’s kind of like turning to a tiger because a lion is chasing you – he seems kinder until he, too, is hungry enough to eat you.

I know the world wants to think that we as human beings have the answers and solutions to bring world peace, but we don’t. Days past and present prove that. When I asked our guide whether she held any particular faith, she said she believed in “humanity”. As we are looking at pictures of violence upon humanity by humanity, she nonetheless can look me full in the face and say she believes in it. The original lie in the Garden is the same one being told today – a desperate clinging to the hope that we think we can be “as God”.

There is one true God. He has left two commandments: Love Him, and love one another. Everywhere we hear people encouraging the second while ignoring the first. But the one can not be done without the other. If we do not seek the author and creator of love with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, what hope have we for love of one another?

Introductions

We arrived in Dhaka on Sunday afternoon to the Bengali version of Erin Parsons’ smile (think Julia Roberts if you don’t know Erin J) … Luna is a friend from the Strasbourg program I attended seven years ago, and it was great fun to see her smile through the crowd. I internally chided myself for all my doubts about coming to Bangladesh – it’s still true that it’s a corner of the world that is constantly challenging my fears and vulnerabilities, but we have once again been led to a family that has taken us in as their own.

By way of brief introduction: Luna works with ‘Save the Children, Bangladesh’ as a Program Coordinator. She is the oldest of four children – Tina and Imman, her “baby” brother and sister, have been our attentive caretakers since we arrived, as she had to leave for an unexpected work conference for two days. Her mom – Amma – doesn’t speak English, but has communicated through her cooking - we have quickly come to understand that the Bengali way of hospitality involves a LOT of food.

The family’s religious background is a rare mixture of Hindu and Muslim, so we are sure to learn much as we share this week with them, and we look forward to more purposeful conversations as the Father pursues their hearts.

Miscellaneous Musings over China

China was an amazing experience. First, I think because we have been third world for so long and this gave us a bit of a break from the harsh realities. Second, it is always good to be with old friends. Third, there is a big difference between our stays with His family, and our visits to other friends. We jumped in with both feet the moment we landed there and between meeting friends, trying new foods, babysitting, holding sick babies, exploring the city, and singing together it was immediate and continuous fellowship from start to finish. Truly God is good to give such connection in so little time. We look forward to continuing our friendship with this family, and to sharing more about our experiences here when we get home.

Our time in Beijing was sweet. The hostel we stayed in at first had me pretty concerned. “Walk down this alley, turn at another alley, go further into another alley” at which point just take your money and valuables and leave them at the front door and back away slowly J. But after navigating these side streets you walk through a non-descript door into the world of an intimate Chinese garden. The hostel is Templeside and if you are ever looking for a place to stay in Beijing we highly recommend it.

I hate steps. They kill my out of shape legs, hurt my knees, I hate steps. The one part of the Half Dome hike in Yosemite that bothers me are the steps up the mist trail. So you can perhaps imagine how my knees felt about the great wall. But to quote President Nixon, “I think, Mr. Secretary, you will have to admit that the wall is indeed great”. The views are breathtaking and you can feel the age of the land you are walking through. The only reminder of the present day is that every few hundred kilometers you meet a person selling cold beer, coke, t-shirts, and post cards. I wonder how often I have been the person to step into someone’s experience and abruptly remind them of reality. I wonder how often the church steps into someone’s experience with God to sell them a new book, CD or program, so that they can experience God.

Summer Palace was gorgeous and we saw it in the rain and fog. Meaning we didn’t see that much of it, but what we saw was beautiful. I am always amazed at the creativity God has given man when it comes to architecture. The master craftsman has given his creation a wonderful gift. The palace grounds make for a beautiful and serene walk along the hills overlooking Beijing. The oddity is that this palace was made possible by the misuse of funds. An empress took funds allocated to help her people and built herself a giant playground. The great wall has it’s darkside as well. 300,000 people were forced to work on the wall as slaves and if they refused were buried alive in the wall itself. So while we have been given the gift of creativity, our “creations” are never completely separated from our sinful humanity.

And we are landing in Bangkok. The flaps are up, the wheels are down, the plane is moving very slowly. We can see the city below us as we prepare to land thanks to the monitor from a camera mounted on the nose of the plan. And then. Complete acceleration, full throttle, no flaps, wheels come up, nose comes up and we are climbing in a banked turn like a roller coaster at Magic Mountain. My finely tuned brain reached deep into it’s verbose quiver and came up with the phrase “What the crap?”. Everyone is looking around at everyone else, we are at the brink of a chaotic melt down. Rioting could begin up and down the aisles at any moment. There will be looting of the peanuts and crackers, first class alcohol will be consumed by economy class passengers, someone will light a cigarette in the bathroom. And then. The pilot comes on to announce that there has been an unidentified aircraft that crossed our landing point and the tower has asked us to circle round and try landing again. Oh, okay. Circle once and land again. And we did. And the landing was soft. And Chaos was avoided … How often do we have unidentified objects cross our landing path, forcing evasive maneuvers and throwing us into the potential for chaos. Things are going smoothly, suddenly life gets very tense, your sense of vulnerability is exposed. In my experience most of these diversions are in reality easily explained and rectified, if not a purposeful part of our Father’s plan. At the brink of confusion I hope that I am willing to regroup before my Father, circle around and try again.

Heading to Dhaka

In a few minutes we'll be getting on the plane for Dhaka, Bangladesh. We'll be staying with a friend's family and also teaching a bit on university campuses. So we expect to be on the go for most of our time there, but if nothing else we'll be back in the Bangkok airport next week and fill you in.

Grateful for all the prayers ... keep 'em coming!

Greatness

Today we hiked the Great Wall of China. That’s right, didn’t see it, take a picture and turn around, but experienced 10k of it on foot … it’s pretty great. Truly dragon-esque as it curves through and over the hills. Absolutely incomprehensible that this thing was built B.C. and covers 600+ times the amount we traversed.

Yet it is not what has held my heart in awe this week. My eyes were in awe, and my legs will be deservedly sore from it’s many peaks and valleys for a bit now, but it was yesterday that made my eyes well up with tears as I once again considered the great gift in my hands. The week we had with our friends was full of sweet fellowship – most of the pictures you’ll see are of food and kids, because those were the two things we saw most – and have enjoyed most – for our time here in China. So as we said goodbye (a thing I pretty much always hate), I just had one of those moments of “what the heck, I can’t believe all we’ve been given.”

So I guess the thing about greatness is what it says about those who created the greatness you’re admiring. The Wall is absolutely an outrageous feat, and though it’s creation is blanketed in tragedy, it demands admiration of those who made it a reality. The One who can create families from strangers is more phenomenal still.

And a Child Shall Lead Them …

It’s quite an experience to go shopping in a grocery store in China –wandering the aisles and trying to guess what you’re looking at and whether it matches your shopping list. But we brought my “tail” with us (so nicknamed by her mother because wherever Brooke goes, she is right behind) … so when in doubt, we relied on our 5-year old translator. She’s only lived in China for about a year and a half, but was on it whenever we needed her to ask a shop attendant whether they had goat’s milk or whether one bottle was shampoo or conditioner, etc.

It was pretty sweet to have people giggle with/at us as we bent down to find out the answer from our child leader …

Oh, and she wants you to know that she is from California and her mom is Chinese.

East meets East

Tonight we had Indian food. The owner of the restaurant was a delightful host who has lived all around the world and was excited to have guests that had just been in India – but India’s a big place with a lot of variety, so we were excited that the region we had been in was the one he had grown up in and had hired a cook from – Gujurat. And as Rhishi and Hetal know, we loved the food. And oh my goodness was it good. Every single dish he brought out was incredible. We heard ourselves saying things like “wow, this is so authentic” (and in my head thinking “I never thought I’d know that kind of thing”).

So we got to introduce our American friends to Indian food in China at a restaurant owned by a Pakistani.

Those aren’t raindrops

Day One for us in China was Day Five of the Chinese New Year. That means a lot of Chinese history and traditions (one of which is not to receive visitors – oops), but the one you can’t miss is setting off of firecrackers throughout – and I mean throughout – the city. Since we just left a land with tin roofs and heavy rain storms, it just sounded to us like we were in the midst of a continuous downpour. But those weren’t raindrops we were hearing. Firecrackers and fireworks of all shapes and sizes are shot off along streets (as people bike by), out of apartment windows, and on bank door steps from just after sundown until the wee hours of the morning. So we of course joined in – before the wee hours of the morning arrived - and along with our friends and their 4 & 5 year olds, lit a few fuses and responded with a few squeals. Okay, us girls squealed and the guys just couldn’t hide the giddiness of living out their boyhood dream of setting things on fire and watching them blow up.

Oh yeah, and it’s cold. But refreshing – like we finally got to stick our heads in the freezer to cool off.

On top of all that, it’s just really nice to be with old friends and to be part of their world for a short time.

We are The Others

Today felt like we'd fast forwarded and went straight from Africa to Fiji. But no, the white sands and AMAZING turqoise water of Mbudya Island is a mere five minute boat ride off the coast of Dar. We were treated to this "locals' beach" with Gil & Amy (friends from the yesteryears of Ibex) and their new baby girl (Grace - 14 months old). It was her first boat ride - check her out in the lifejacket, it's fabulous - and Jason's first time snorkeling. The tide was super low, so we were hovering JUST over some amazing coral reefs with a great variety of fish that we would never be creative enough to design.

Leaving Kigoma

We head out this afternoon for Dar, and on Wednesday for Beijing ... yikes, life out of a backpack and in lots of airports again!

Please remember that for the next month and a half we will be in countries with less freedom than we enjoy. WHATEVER YOU WRITE ON E-MAILS OR COMMENTS CAN BE READ LIKE A POSTCARD. Thanks ...

O-oh

That's Moses' version of "Uh-oh" ...

Here's the deal - the last few morning we've woken up a bit chilly - in the 70's. And we're headed to China, where it will be in maybe the 20's.

Yeah, big fat "O-oh" to that.

A Memory To Savor

I remember in the classic “Parent Trap” movie when young Haley Mills smells her Grandpa’s smoking jacket so she can remember him whenever she smells peppermint and tobacco.

Well there aren’t a lot of smells I want to keep with me as we get ready to leave Africa, but there are sounds. This afternoon the youth leaders surrounded us to pray for the rest of our trip. The prayer started as a song. I sat there just wishing my brain could record their voices – the harmonies, the obvious sincerity. Heck, I cry when “normal” prayers are being offered on my behalf – hearing it sung took it up a notch. What the heck.

I doubt it’s really possible to recognize or express how different people impress your life, and usually the depths of those impressions aren’t apparent until later. But these youth definitely joined those ranks …

The gist of their song was this: Nothing can I trust, except the blood of Jesus. I don’t have good deeds that can clean my sin. On Jesus I can stand. That is my rock and my safety. If my way would be long, he would offer me salvation. If waves rock the boat, his power is my stand. His blood and sacrifice are what I depend on. If called to stand before the court, I don’t have a friend before Jesus. I have peace in my heart; I am not afraid before Him.

Asante Sana, Rafikis.

Greetings From a Delirious Friend...

So it’s been a while since I wrote a blog and Brooke has been on me to sit down and write so I’m just going to let things come as they do…

…Super Tuesday, February 6 Had the opportunity to see the Super Bowl , one of the neighbors here recorded it off of Satellite TV. SO I had to discipline myself not to look up Yahoo or ESPN for a few days. It was the first American Football Game I have seen in months and since the Colts won it turned out to be a good day J. The only bummer was that it was a copy from ESPN so we didn’t see any of the new commercials. So I guess Brooke and I will have to catch up on those when we get back.

…So I’m sick again, probably Malaria, high fever, joint ache, stomach cramps, etc. … I’m thankful that we have access to and can afford good medication. Malaria is deadly because many people don’t have access to its cure. That leaves something to be pondered - how many other things are involved in my world that would be deadly to most people but I have access and means for the cure? Really and truly we are a blessed nation and need to continue living in that recognition sharing what we have been given and living openhanded before the Lord.

…I spoke at my last African church on Sunday, just before I got sick. God was good to give me health through the service. I really have enjoyed preaching here, it has been a good time of discipline in the Word studying and preparing to present His Word to others. I preached on Living in a relationship of Love with God instead of a relationship of duty and obedience for Him. I have no idea if anyone has learned much from my preaching, but I know that God has expanded my own knowledge and experience of Him through these times of preparation. Preaching can be a very humbling thing, even before you do it.

…We leave for China in less than a week. I have never in my life been all that desirous to spend time in Asia, but the closer we get to it the more God lays it on my heart. I am excited first to see my friend Jim, who I taught with for a year in 2002-2003. But more than that I am actually becoming intrigued by the Chinese culture in specific, as well as the Asian cultures in general. Plus the 2008 Olympics are being held in Beijing so we will be able to see some of the preparations for that. We are only in China 9 days, definitely not enough time to see it all, so maybe we will have to come back for the Olympics? Hmm …

…Brooke and I will be speaking 3 or 4 times in Bangladesh after we leave China, so please remember those times. We also will be staying with a Muslim friend of Brooke’s which should be an interesting and enjoyable experience.

…It’s hard not to look ahead, as we see the second half of our experience looming closer, and start thinking about home, and what we will do and where we will be when we get back. I’m not sure what God has, I don’t want to miss out on what he has planned here and now, but I also don’t want to be foolish and not think through our next steps.
…For those of you who are wondering, the life of a vagabond can be glamorous, and it can also be a pain in the butt (and stomach, and head, and … )

A reminder

Master of beauty, craftsman of the snowflake, inimitable contriver, endower of Earth so gorgeous & different from the boring Moon, thank you for such as it is my gift.
- John Berryman

Watoto

There might be nothing cuter than dozens of watoto (“children” – quite possible my favorite Swahili word) crying out a greeting of “Wazungu!” (literally, “white person”), to which we playfully respond “Hello, African” and make our Tanzanian friends laugh. They got even cuter yesterday in Ujiji (a town we visited to see the David Livingstone Memorial) … calling out “Bye-bye” as they waved, so clearly excited to be able to “greet” us in English.

Our friend Biroto, one of the youth leaders, is a 22 year old guy who simply drinks up all the information either of us can offer on the Word, Grace, America, life. He led us through Ujiji as he grew up there. When he brought us to his own home, his little siblings ran into the yard and stopped short when they saw us, then ran back to announce “Wazungu!” to their Mama J

Moving Day

“Hello, friend.” These are simple words that I’ve expressed to numbers of people – always sincerely, but often without much foresight of any impact they could have. But today while talking with Jackson, he told us what a powerful effect it had on him when we called him “friend”. We got to meet Jackson because he works with Harold & Coni, but at some undistinguishable moment he moved from someone that works with friends to a friend himself. I just wish you could all get to meet he and his wife and literally feel the joy that emanates from their smiles. Jackson has a heart for the Father and a depth of understanding that we’ve found to be rare here in Kigoma – he treats his sons and wife as the gifts from God that they are; he is diligent in his work and we have not once heard him complain, even when the hours are long; and not once has he asked for anything from us, which makes it all the more exciting when we are able to give something they need, or even just want, because as he said, it’s a “testimony to him from the Lord.” It makes me think of Isaiah 65:24: “Before they call, I will answer.” What fun when the Father leads someone to be an answer to a request that hasn’t even verbalized yet – at least not to anyone but Him.

Saturday was moving day for Jackson’s family – it’s hard to explain the living conditions they had before without making it sound like a Compassion commercial, but suffice it to say that there were a lot of smiles as we all unloaded them at their new home that is sanitary, has indoor plumbing, is in a safer neighborhood, and with a landlady who gave her life to the Son a few years ago, was banished from her Muslim husband, and has been praying ever since for someone to move in that could teach her more from the Word.

Before THEY called, He answered …

One of 200

So, turns out Jacob did have malaria, but was in more immediate danger from starvation. Because the only thing he’d eaten all week was one of the PB&J’s at Kids’ Club on Tuesday. The man and woman he lived with kicked him out last week because he wasn’t brining in food or money – silly kid, he was going to school instead. They sold his school uniform and shoes, though, so the only way he is able to continue going to school is because Mama Joshua (Coni) was willing to purchase him a replacement set. So he’s now staying with a friend and returned to school on Monday.

This was hard information to process – and maybe because knowing about one specific case makes you wonder more about all the others you don’t know about … how many of the other 200 kids had only a PB&J to eat last week?

Jacob

Since we have internet right now, we want to ask you all to pray for Jacob, a young boy (10 years old?) who was just carried here by some of his friends ... carried because he is almost unconscious ... sound like any familiar sunday school stories?

Coni and a friend, Mwenge, just rushed him to the international dispensary here in town, in hopes that they can quickly diagnose whether it's malaria or something else and hopefully literally save his young life. He is an orphaned child who won Coni's heart long ago, and I would ask you to pray for her heart as she's with him as well.

By the way, Jackson - the friend we mentioned who was also very ill this week - is doing much better. Still needs prayer, but is recovering from a HORRIBLE case of what turned out to be shingles!

Thanks ...

Only in Africa

Only in Africa could we ride in a helicopter on Thursday, and then have no electricity and sporadic internet for a week before we could actually tell anyone about it.

Hmmm, what to write about today ...

Not sure what to write about just now … I could write more about the 200 children that swarm the yard every week to sing songs, learn stories of our Father, and chow on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Seeing the older carry the younger ones around on their backs makes my complaints of “growing up too fast” pretty lame in comparison (sorry Mom).

Or I could write about Jackson’s helicopter flight - a specific answer to a request he placed before the Father – that he would be able to fly someday. Even just once. In a plane, a helicopter; heck, I think he would’ve settled for a lounge chair with helium balloons tied on. But last Thursday he strapped into the Marine Reach helicopter as it introduced itself to Kigoma/Kaseke, and he told his four year old son that if God could give him the chance to fly, he might be able to have a car someday, too. Jackson is one of the main translators we’ve been able to work with, and we have been so blessed by his sincere heart for our Father. A few days ago we were able to meet his family – he has two boys, and his wife has a smile that gives meaning to the whole “light up a room” phrase (by the way, Jackson and his wife are VERY ill right now – he has a blood infection and she has malaria. Please lift them before the Father.). It was so much fun to see his nervous grin at take-off turn into an ear-to-ear smile by the time they landed. We, too, got to take a ride over the property to get some great aerial shots for planning, to understand the proximity of the neighboring villages to serve, etc. Bob, our British pilot, gave us quite a thrill by taking the doors off before we went up. I’m not gonna lie, a helicopter ride has been on my “hope to do someday” list for a long time, and I doubt there could be a better first ride than cruising over the longest lake in Africa with the wind in your face, getting up to almost three times higher than normal for the whole picture, looking down at a plot of land that has so much potential and three hundred giggling children waving up at you. It felt a lot like walking the property for Eagle Ridge – except when we would bank sharply and I remembered I was 5500 feet above the ground with only a seatbelt to rely on J.

I could tell you more about those swarms of children that flooded the area when their curiosity was peaked by the “big bird”. The land we were visiting was recently donated for their benefit … 100 acres that will hopefully be home to a secondary school, bible college, youth camp, medical/helicopter base, etc. Two amazing things you must know about these children: one, how quickly they appeared from what would seem to be a long distance. Two, how much they laughed and played as the helicopter flew above them, occasionally giving them the impression it was heading directly towards them J. Okay, there’s another thing you need to know: The villages they live in right now have only a primary school (equivalent to our elementary), a government dispensary that has to recycle it’s “sterile” gauze, and not even a dream of other means we hope to use to introduce them to the Lord.

I could write about the local pastor who’s currently in jail for “wounding religious feelings”. Seriously. There’s a law against that. He happened to “wound” the religious feelings of local Muslims who happened to bribe the local police to arrest him for teaching things about Mohammed they didn’t appreciate (i.e., factual history). His hearing is currently scheduled for the first week of February. We had the chance to sit down with a man who works closely with him and hear the full details – this is by no means an isolated instance. The tension in this country is not so far below the surface.

Or I could write more about the life of our dear friends who are willing to put up with us in their home for three more weeks. They’re human, and they let us see that, which in itself is still refreshing. They have had a lot of important decisions to make this month, especially as the Father opens new doors and closes others. One of their right-hands, Gabriel, just left for the States to attend Calvary Chapel Bible College in Murrieta. It was so exciting to see him off and know what a huge experience awaits him. They will miss him this year while he’s away, but are excited that he’ll finally see the important things America has to offer – like Wal-Mart and fast food, the building blocks to any happy life.

I could probably keep going, but now I’m fairly tired from thinking about all the things I could’ve written about …

Roadblocks

We’ve tried to make three different trips to three different villages and have run into a variety of “roadblocks” (sickness, ferries “not working” due to corruption - i.e., only working for a certain price, a disease within the country Harold feels strongly about not contributing to, etc.). All we can do is shrug and remember “man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps”.

And the one trip that was roadblock-free? The safari (literally “trip” in Swahili) to Katavi. I’m prone to rank things I think are ‘just for pleasure’ at the bottom of the priority list, so in my economy I would’ve thought that if we were only going to actually succeed in one of the four planned safaris, it “should” be the one we wouldn't be able to take. But no, that’s not what the Father keeps teaching me … His economy seems to prioritize not just what I think I can DO for Him, but also what I can simply ENJOY.

Grace, Grace to all who love the Lord …

until you sin and then you have to be saved again. Or so was thought by ten precious hearts until just recently. A year and a half of Harold & Coni sowing Truth is starting to suggest a fruitful harvest.

We just finished a 4 day retreat with the Kids’ Club leaders: six guys and four girls 18-28 years old. They lead a “kids club” once a week – like a day camp every Tuesday afternoon, originally focused on the street kids who have very little to be doing with their time. About 180 kids come to the house every week to hear stories from the Word, sing songs, learn in small groups, and leave with homework to work on and bring back the next week. At the end of the year, they have a test and everyone who passes the test gets to go to camp – a new and enthusiastically received experience for Tanzanian youth.

We ran the retreat in the same building that will be used for the Hope of the Nations Bible College. We had an amazing time. For Brooke and I it was a return to the dorm life. Late night conversations, honest questions, hours of quiet time, reading, and journaling - these leaders want to know, want to grow, and feel a weighty responsibility to teach accurately.

The curriculum was prepared based on what the leaders had told us they wanted to teach at Kids’ Club over the next few months. But within the first seminar and throughout all devotional times, their questions focused very specifically on God’s Grace. True Grace is simply not taught here because the churches are afraid that their people will simply take grace and run, continuing to live their lives doing whatever they want. So salvation is what is always taught because if you sin, you are no longer saved until you again ask for forgiveness. Salvation they have, but they have been stranded like a 2 year incapable of an honest, mature relationship with their Creator - thus their spiritual depth runs no deeper than the top soil. It struck me in these conversations that while we know this form of “Grace” to be untrue, and we spent these four days taking them through the Scriptures (Ephesians 2, Romans 5 and 6, Hebrews 10, etc.), we still often live our lives this way. I still feel pressure to earn the love and gift of God, though He has already given it to me. I still think I have to make myself worthy, though I will never be worthy of the gift He has given me. Instead of allowing myself the freedom of digging into a relationship with Him, I keep myself at a distance because I don’t feel worthy to have that which He has already given to me. How sad for God, how sad for Kigoma, how sad for me. It was a poignant reminder of the need for the Bible College that we are working on beginning here. Hopefully 15-20 pastors will be here in March beginning English classes (they need to have a decent understanding of English to make themselves available to the many resources that exist - resources in Swahili are basically non-existent) and preparing their personal hearts for a program of in-depth Biblical training. They need to understand all the Word teaches about who God is, and in light of this, who we are, so they can in turn teach their congregations from a strong foundation. They treat the Bible the way Israel treated the Law, as scriptures focused on our life and behavior rather than scriptures that reveal a beautiful Creator. Please keep Africa before the Father; He has many very young children here who don’t know that He loves them enough not just to save them, but to have them grow into His mature sons and daughters.