Monday, October 30, 2006
Nothing new
I’m not going to pretend this is some new and phenomenal realization, but these last few weeks I’ve really been struck with how “serving” is still so often about ourselves. For me, this has come out because I’ve asked myself whether I’m finding pleasure in serving because a) it’s actually with a heart for the person I’m trying to serve, or b) it’s because it makes me feel like I’m “accomplishing a goal”. Even this morning as I was reading in Matthew, I was struck by the disciples’ argument about who would be first, where they would sit in the kingdom, etc. The Son told them to get where they wanted they had to be servants to all. But he still knew their motivation was “If I put myself last now, I’ll be first later.” Haven’t we all had that thought at one time or another? Which, of course, means we’re really not putting ourselves last at all … just delaying what we still hope for as first place. So, this made me think again about the bottom-line of existing to bring Glory to the Father. To “bring glory” is not something I readily grasp – it’s not a phrase I use in other parts of life. But one of the definitions I once read did help me a bit with the tangibility of this idea – to “bring glory” is to do what I/we can to protect/honor/uphold another’s reputation. A reputation is something I can wrap my mind around a bit more. And so I came to the beginning of a conclusion … simply that I have been starting with incomplete questions. Do I do what I do to uphold the reputation of my Creator? Right now I can’t say that I even hold this question consciously before me often enough to say “yes” …
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3 comments:
Some good thoughts here. I think that no matter how often we are "doing things for God", so much more time is spent living for ourselves. How much of my "obedience" is actually done for my own gratification or to gain someone else's attention? As badly as I would like to deny it, I think that most of the time I obey for the wrong reason. And if you want to take that even further, is my obedience even obedience anymore? Crazy though process. Whatcha think?
Jay, maybe the search for the reward is bad, but doing something with knowledge of the reward we receive in doing it may be a powerful motivator. This something I have been thinking about lately in my own ministry and my motivation for participating in God's purposes. I love and miss your carefully thought out insights to questions about things that matter. I guess what I am trying to say is that knowing that we get something from serving and expecting that feeling doesn't necessarily mean you are doing it for the wrong reason because when we serve God we are inadvertantly affected with some kind of blessing in my experience (usually inwardly).
Well, it's been an interesting few days to process this more and think through it, and here's what's overridden the questions/challenges/measurements of self: What an honor. What an HONOR that He would choose us as a representative of Himself. That's really what it's all about when it's all said and done, isn't it? We are in relationship with the Creator and instead of appearing in visible form, He's chosen to use human beings as His representatives. I hope this doesn't sound like a broken record of Christian thought, because this really hit me anew this time around.
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