The EMM

why does this make me say wow?

2009-01-09T17:03:00.000-08:00

a must read

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/article5400568.ece

pray for this man

2008-11-17T23:13:00.000-08:00

our Father knows why - please bend the knee and stand alongside this wonderful tanzanian brother (and his family) as he faces dangers today. ask for strength and peace that passes understanding.

what fall looks like

2008-11-07T15:42:00.001-08:00

last weekend we went to o-hi-o to see nine of our favorite people ... and discovered what fall looks like.

umm, yeah. felt like we were in a painting the whole time.

oh, and we discovered why it's called fall ... because that's what the leaves do. check out the sweet attempted catching going on here ...

and we were sad to say goodbye. thanks for a WONDERFUL time, spansels! we love ya!

held

2008-10-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

our dear ruth is now at rest. she went home to her Father at 12:40 a.m. yesterday. her husband cradled ruth in his arms and released his Bride into her Father's arms. it was a beautiful and tragic moment. we rejoice in knowing her fight is over. there is no more pain. no more tears. no more exhaustion. ruth is now held close in Her father's arms.

and so are we ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOufqWodFNo

almost ...

2008-10-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago our cousin al was feeding ruth and got the impression that ruth was looking past her. she asked "do you see anyone you know?", surprising even herself with that question. ruth's answer: "almost."

well, almost is a lot closer now. we are gathered with the family expecting to usher her into Glory sometime today, maybe tomorrow. in some ways this has been four long months, and in other ways it's been just a blink since "cancer" was first on our tongues.

go to her blog and celebrate this precious life. http://ruth.apsley.org. play the song and read the comments as people say their farewells. she's almost there ... can almost see ... and will no longer have to imagine.

safe and sound

2008-09-11T07:19:00.001-07:00

baby caleb is home safe and sound with his family. thanks for all the prayers during their scary chapter.

updates

2008-09-07T15:50:00.000-07:00

just received an update on baby caleb and wanted to update everyone on ruth as well.

we're expecting ruth to start hospice care this week. she has been slowly slipping away - very painful to watch someone lose a little bit more of life each day. please pray that the Father takes her home gently, and pray that the rest of us would know "what it means to be held" (new favorite song by natalie grant - not a new song, just a new favorite). here is a recent picture of ruth with her sister faith and dear friend "al" as we waited for her radiation appointment and enjoyed some great conversations with this incredible woman.

baby caleb's parents wrote an update and i wanted to post it for you here to share in this family's journey as you continue to pray for them:

caleb has continued to have a normal temperature and reasonable energy. However, there are a few unresolved issues regarding which we covet your thoughts:
1. His first urine culture showed a very small amount of bacteria, but enough for the doctor to order a retest to confirm a negative result.
2. The blood tests have shown an enzyme that indicates damage to the heart muscle. This might be a permanent or temporary effect of a viral or bacterial infection. We have to wait to see if it goes down. There is currently no obvious sign of heart dysfunction.
3. However, This morning, when he was asleep, the doctor heard, for the first time, a heart murmur. It is only noticeable when his heart rate is very low. This is likely benign and unrelated to his fever, however, they are ordering an ultrasound to further investigate.

Despite a difficult couple of nights in the hallway due to a lack of beds, we are now in a private room and we feel we are well taken care of and believe the medical care is competent and good. We have been overwhelmed by the help and pr of friends, gratefully receiving that and other reminders of the Shepherd’s presence with us. Please ask that we’d have wisdom and endurance and that by trusting Him we would miss none of the good He intends to work through this painful, frightening chapter.

…The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the good shepherd.

baby caleb

2008-08-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

please join with us in lifting up baby caleb to the Father right now. he is the newborn son of our dear friends that we got to spend time with in China. he was hospitalized last week for jaundice and they ran tests to see whether the cause is simple or serious. they then sent him home and an hour later he vomited and is running a 102 fever. they are taking him back to the hospital and while there, they are restricted from seeing him - can you imagine much harder on a mom while wondering whether your baby is going to be okay? so please friends, join us on your knees for baby caleb and his precious family ... here are his big brother and sister (esther and james) ... thanks.

wedding details

2008-08-24T23:36:00.000-07:00

we had the privilege this weekend of sharing in charlie & brooke weaver's wedding ... wanted to share some photos - many more are on the link. wedding prep couldn't help but make me think of the wedding feast that is being prepared for us - really, two thousand years of preparation, can you imagine? all the details that go into a wedding, and He goes to prepare a place for us ... wow. working on little name cards made me think of ruth's name card being prepared with anticipation and joy by those who are waiting to welcome her. so enjoy the pictures of these beautiful people and be encouraged as i was to think of the wedding that is yet to come ...

and yet ...

2008-08-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

We are losing our lovely Aunt Ruth to Pancreatic Cancer. Jason's Aunt Ruth, but it's torn me up something terrible. She will be graduating to heaven very soon. This is a time when your theology really forces it's way into your reality. We KNOW that she will be with Christ. We KNOW that we will all follow. We KNOW that God is sovereign. And yet our hearts cry out that this is WRONG ... it aches to see her body lose strength even when her eyes are still bright. It screams out against a 29-year marriage being ended with such force. It cries out against this world losing someone of such grace and beauty. It mourns because simple things like Christmases just won't be the same.

The heart cries out that it is wrong because it IS wrong. Our bodies are not made for decay and brokenness brought on by this fallen world, AND YET we know that God is sovereign over it all. It's just that His power over death will not be seen by our eyes just yet. It will be the faith He asks from us that will carry us through ... assurance of that which we do not see, that which we hope for.

Here is a picture of her with the Miller Family from a few weeks ago - Ruth is the beauty in the middle. And if you are a glutton for humility, check out her blog - http://ruth.apsley.org/. She's been maintaining it faithfully since even before her diagnosis. In it you'll see the beauty of a woman who is prepared to meet her Maker.

Now, in other news ... because life keeps being life ... Jason has been given an interim opportunity at our home church - Northpoint, Corona - as the Ministry Director for Community & Outreach. We have been praying and searching for so long now that this came as a refreshing surprise to have the Leadership Team seek him out! The pastor in this position will be leaving this month to take a Senior Pastor position up North, and Jason is stepping in to maintain and continue building the ministry foundation he established in our Community. Already he has been excited to engage with the various non-profits that are hard at work in Corona, as our Church seeks ways to be engaged and in service alongside them. This is a big change for us and has included another new place to live as well ... more friends from Church invited us into their home for this interim time. Yes, we are blessed moochers and we know it.

Just the week before the job started, we had the chance to get a few days together in Yosemite and Mammoth ... tip, don't go to Yosemite in August - it's so dry! ... but it was still beautiful and we were so refreshed. With battered hearts from this summer's news, we really felt God come to us in His gentle way ... you know those moments when you feel like you need to work really hard to get yourself back before Him? And then He comes to you and the next thing you know His arms are around you and all that's left for you to do is sigh and relax. He's in control after all.

876 W. Kendall

2008-07-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

Alright, for those of you that have talked to me within the last ten months, you've probably heard about 876 W. Kendall. Our fabulous friends own this fabulous home but God has called them to Ohio, so it's been on the market and has been in Escrow multiple times, but beyond all belief, has fallen out of Escrow yet again. So I thought why not post it on the Blog here and get the word out even further. You can check it out in detail at http://www.beautifulcoronahomes.com/. We LOVE this home and wish we could buy it for ourselves, so pass the word on for anyone that is in the market in Corona ...

fabulous four

2008-06-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

four years of wedded life. not gonna lie, i love it. i love being married to jason. this year has probably been our most challenging so far, but what a blessing to be able to hold hands and squeeze just a little tighter than the year before, having lived that much more life together and knowing that much more about your own heart and the one your Father created for you.

we got to steal away for a night up to pasadena, after a day of pretending we were still teenagers at Raging Waters - so fun, but our muscles have been complaining ever since! our hotel was fabulous and luxurious and it was just so great to take a pause from life and focus on each other without any distractions.

thanks, Lord. for four fabulous years.

one year ago today

2008-05-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

we set foot back on u.s. soil one year ago today. is anyone else caught off guard by year-marks? for me it feels like a birthday that snuck up on me. and not like the little-kid birthday where you're excited about the cake. the adult birthday where you get all reflective and kind of sad. weird. a whole year. a totally unexpected year. a bit of a desert year. but with manna from above. and hopefully less than 39 years left to wander ...

our aunt ruth

2008-05-24T22:52:00.001-07:00

for those of you that know our aunt ruth, you know that she just might be the closest thing to an angel on this earth. seriously. we're asking that you'll join us in lifting her up to the Father. she's awaiting biopsy results on a mass the doctors have discovered behind her pancreas. there's quite a bit of concern as she's been weak, losing weight and in pain for awhile now, and the tumor was just discovered. please lift her up as well as the family that is surrounding and loving on her. thanks friends.

for anyone that wants to track it directly, she's joined the blog world for this journey and her site is http://ruth.apsley.org

the latest

2008-05-18T14:27:00.001-07:00

It's probably not fair to call this a "new chapter" of life since we've been in transition since 2006, but we are entering another phase of transition. The place we've called home since September of last year closed escrow this week - some people work themselves out of jobs, we work ourselves out of homes :} - so we moved out on Wednesday. Most of our stuff moved into storage and we've accepted a gracious offer from some friends at Church to move into their guest room for the time being. We're hopeful that the Father will be opening a more permanent door soon as Jason continues to submit his resume to various ministry opportunities and we look forward to an actual new chapter!

And for those who keep an address book, it's time to line through ours once again and replace it with the following for a mailing address:

387 Magnolia Ave. Suite 103 #322

Corona, CA 92879

and i looked up ...

2008-05-04T19:00:00.001-07:00

... and it was MAY.

the horizon

2008-04-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

i love the imagery of life having a horizon. because the horizon is always there. sometimes it's dark, sometimes painted in vibrant colors, sometimes cloudy, other times brilliantly bright. but always it holds mystery, promise, question.

change is on our horizon. yep, the millers are packing again. the home we're in has been sold and in about three weeks we'll be moving to ... ??? cast your vote now!

in the meantime, life is quite full and busy. the last few weeks have presented some really difficult challenges - and some cloudy horizons! but we had a fabulously refreshing weekend up in camarillo that helped put our hearts and heads back in perspective. check out these amazing pics of more time with the girls - we went whale watching but there wasn't a single whale on that horizon! thus the fun photo shoot with baby beautiful ...

umm, seriously, could they be any more beautiful?

like mother like daughter - check out those smiles!

and aunty boo's no fool to compete with that pose -

soph and i are going for delightfully awkward in this shot.

oh yeah, we so get each other ...

hope

2008-03-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

hope. that all may experience hope in jesus christ. this is the heart and mission of 'hope of the nations', the non-profit organization we volunteer with that supports the ministry in tanzania that our friends, harold & coni, founded. we spent the last weekend+ with the missionaries and board members up above monterey (beautiful, anyone?). it was so fabulous to have days focused on the hearts and needs that God is calling them to meet there in various ways. opportunities abound to encourage real life change - real HOPE. we spent a lot of time talking about what we believe is an emerging paradigm of missions - the simplicity that we are all called to love God and love our neighbors. their neighbors are tanzanian. our neighbors are americans. the call is the same. the needs and means are different. neither those of us called abroad or called to stay are the answer in and of ourselves, and we are not here to DO for God. but we do have a reason for the Hope that lives within us.

we are excited to continue our service alongside those proclaiming this Hope on another continent. we are excited to remember the faces we love and lived alongside last year in tanzania. we are excited to know that the Body has different members with different purposes. but it is one Body with one Purpose. it is a great personal passion of ours to hope that the american church will recognize and remember these fundamental truths.

jambalaya

2008-02-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

this is going to be a random assortment - a jambalaya, if you will - of thoughts that have been collecting in my head but are only now making their way into blog format. i'm not sure if anyone even reads this anymore, but i know i need to start using it again, if for nothing other than the pure discipline of identifying my own thoughts enough from time to time to try to explain them to others. so here goes ...

amazing grace. just watched the movie last night. never knew the slave trade was the origin of the song. totally blown away by wilberforce and his humility - took my mind to the passages our church has been teaching on ... "have mercy on me, a sinner". seems he didn't forget that, even in victory.

schemes. been really convicted lately to not forget there is an enemy who schemes against our hearts and souls. our weapon is prayer and to be honest, i'm pretty lazy in prayer. but lately my heart has been so encouraged by the Spirit to remember i'm not fighting against the flesh and blood and daily in-and-out struggles. the fight is how my heart responds to those flesh and blood struggles. and i'm not really the one fighting. i am the one who needs to turn to the One who will fight. Who am i turning to? myself or my God?

which brings me to my next link in the thought-chain. self. self is a four-letter word. and i really should treat it like that more often. again and again i rely on self. ugh, this is sin. just think of how many things we extol as a culture that are all about self. self-reliance. self-sufficiency. self-esteem. self-assurance. self-inflation. self-promotion. self-regulation. you might be thinking, "hey, this or that isn't a bad thing just because it has the word self in it." my point is not that all things with the word self are inherently evil, but seriously, if you really take the time to think about how MUCH we extol self, it gets rather nauseating. and here's why. we start believing we really are self-reliant, self-sufficient. let me change the pronoun here. I start believing that. I forget to rely wholly on my Maker.

the box. we live in a fast, demanding, expensive corner of the world. we've had some unexpected turns the last few months, and you know the saddest part is that i came home from our trip so determined not to just put it in a box with a pretty bow and look at it every so often with comments like "wasn't that such a lovely trip? ... why yes it was ... and what a lovely bow on that lovely box ... sigh ... ". gross. life was real then and life is real now. it's time for me to start connecting those dots. i plan on taking that box down and unpacking it more. i need to take that box down and unpack it.

the power of three

2008-01-18T22:29:00.000-08:00

if you've talked to us this month you know we moved right from Christmas into THREE weddings. and if you haven't talked to us this month ...

well, now you know why.

introducing the triumphant and glowing mr. and mrs. guy e. white the fourth ...

and the stunning mr. and mrs. jeremiah lee ...
and the brave mr. and mrs. timothy wayne isbell

(brave for having an outdoor wedding in january :) ) ...

we got some awesome times with some awesome friends ...

and it's not every weekend you get to dress up so shnazzy ... well, it was every weekend for three weeks, but it will probably be a while until we get to play dress up again ...

... and sorry ladies, but i will always think i got the BEST man ...

each one was as unique as the couple it celebrated. we were of course thrilled and honored to be a part of each one ... but we're also pretty happy about having a wedding-free weekend :)!

It's Time

2007-12-31T14:23:00.000-08:00

Time for ... PICTURES. With the New Year upon us and a BUSY season just behind, we're going to rely on the power of photos to share what life has held these past few weeks and months.

In November we got to spend ten days taking care of these fabulous three littles ...

Varney, Emily & Maggie ... too cute, right?

... and somebody turned 30 ...

... and we got lots of opportunities to hang out with the most perfect baby - Sophie ...
... and spend Christmas with family - this was my best Christmas present ...
... and our lil' sis, Cait, returned from Germany in time for Christmas fun with our most fabulous and entertaining niece, Alli Kay - "MAS PRESENTS!" ...
... just yesterday we celebrated our dear Kristen Jones becoming Mrs. Kristen White ... ... and in general just keep lovin' the chance to live life together.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!

powerless

2007-11-28T23:32:00.001-08:00

i hate feeling powerless. i might hate it more than any other sensation. it's not a new feeling. it shouldn't surprise me. it's something my head reconciled a long time ago. but i still hate it.

the thing is, i don't know that i ultimately want power (some would call it control, but i want to avoid that word so as to side-step the "control freak" title), but in moments that i'm aware of how much power i DON'T have, it's like a rug just got pulled out from under me. why is that? i already knew there was no rug, why am i surprised when i look down and see it's not there?

since updating this blog has fallen by the wayside (something that IS within my power and brings up my other weakness: not doing something because i'm embarassed by how long i haven't done it already ... and so the cycle goes), i want everyone to understand that really, our lives are practically fantastic right now and i'm just in the middle of a little meltdown. my plate's been full, my wheels have been spinning, and my heart's been connected to a lot of those wheels. so i'm tired. and when i get tired, i feel like all the energy i've expended to make me so tired feels futile, and thus the powerlessness.

wheel #1: jason's medical mystery continues. test upon test upon test. what we now know is that there is fluid build-up, at least in the ear and maybe in the head? what we don't yet know is whether the cause can be identified. we really don't want to just treat symptoms, but are running out of options on finding the cause. the biggest challenge is his fatigue level - it's just not who he's ever been, so it's taken a lot for either of us to adjust to it, and at the same time, we'd rather not "just adjust" - what's really going on inside him!?

wheel #2: a new field of law for me. i'm now working with a *dear* friend in long beach two days a week. she runs a family law practice and i'm not gonna lie, it's just never easy learning a new field. but i must say, the hour commute is a lot easier to handle now that i've seen how some traffic systems work!

wheel #3: speaking of new fields, i've ventured into the real estate market and have been working with some friends to try and sell their home here in corona (yes, in the worst market in the nation). i can hardly explain how exhausting this has been (which shouldn't be a surprise given the last parenthetical, but like i said, even if i know a rug isn't there, i still land flat on my butt when i feel like it got yanked out from under me). in fact, let me take a minute to solicit prayers that we can close escrow!!! i'm ready to be just the friend again and drop the agent title.

and while i jog on my little spinning wheels, i'm still trying to reconcile what i know to be True about He who has made us and considers powerless lessons a good thing, designed to remind me
that He likes to be depended on, needs to be depended on, and is the only truly powerful or dependable source i've got.

Parting the Myst

2007-10-08T14:23:00.000-07:00

and he awoke...

So my Doctor tells me on Firday that my latest issues (pulse,numbness,tingling,breathing,etc) are all in my head. Great, there goes my excuse for sitting around watching nothing all day. Then he has the nerve to tell me to get back to living my normal life. Oh sure! Easy for him to say - he doesn't have an eye trying to pop out of his skull! But he is right, of course, much as I don't like to admit it. Our physical lives can really take a toll on our spiritual and emotional lives. SO while I do have headache issues and according to the nuerologist those are gonna stick around a month or two, I have been causing myself some severe stress over my constant watching of physical symptoms. So I have been making myself more sick than I really am by my subconscious worrying. Do I even need to draw the Spiritual parallels for you on this one? I do this with God all the time. I take what may be either nothing, or something small in his economy and I worry it into something gigantic and dehabilitating. That sucks. My doctor says I need to feel free to live normal life. The past 2 days I have been trying to and you know what, I feel as if the myst parted. I feel as if I woke up. I feel pretty darn good...

Can I say how much I love Fall. Even though right now the weather is 89 degrees I know it will get cold again and I love it.

-September schools start up and the newness, the unbridled potential for amazing life changing events occurs within the scholastic world. Not to mention college football begins.

-October comes along and the change of seasons begins (well everywhere but Southern California). This is my birthday month so no surprise that it is part of my favorite season. Not to mention baseball playoffs begin.

-November brings the harvest and Thanksgiving and the beginning of the great food and family festivity weeks. Not to mention one can feel Christmas hanging around the edges of one's life. Plus this is the month that USC usually beats up on Notre Dame (I know they lost to Stanford but you can't win all your games at home so it was destined to happen sometime).

-December for me is a rush of emotion. Not including seeing friends, Christmas carols, classic Christmas TV shows, wrapping gifts, Christmas decorations, and all the Christmas goodies, I have to admit I enjoy the crazy shopping times. These aren't a chore or a waste of time, they are a few hours of relationship building for each person I buy for. Though these people don't know it, my heart and mind are connected to them as I take the time to find that which may not be on their list but once recieved is cherished and appreciated as a token of being known and understood. I love the risk that is involved in buying for people something specific. Relationship is all about risk, and Christmas can be one of the more relationally risky moments of the year. And yes I do think the idea of giving gifts compliments the reality of Christ's birth quite well. This is a celebration. This is a time to remember that God gave his greatest gift and Christ risked all for relationship with us. This is a month that for some reason I feel more connected with Him than any other time of the year. It's also a month to snog with my wife by the fireplace and in front of the Christmas tree. Not to mention all the College football bowl games begin. I know it's not everybody's favorite time, and for many it may bring up painful family experiences but for me it is a spiritual retreat, and one that I am thankful for...

Well that's more than I intended to write so I hope all is well in the worlds of our friends, and

Happy Fall...

-Jason

thank you cards

2007-09-27T09:04:00.001-07:00

so last night i had a dream that we were going from doctor to doctor (isn't my subconsious creative?), but along the way we were stopping to write thank you cards and send thank you gifts. i'm not quite sure if they were to the doctors or to friends or what ... but when i woke up i was so aware of how thankful we really are right now. we have such a GOOD Father. so this morning i wanted to write this short note as a thank you card to Him.

spinal tap thursday

2007-09-26T10:17:00.001-07:00

okay, not every thursday, just this thursday. if you read this before then, lift J up since they'll be sticking a needle in his spine. should tell us a lot, though, so that will be good. thanks!

filling in the blanks

2007-09-21T22:43:00.000-07:00

wow, how sad that we're so much worse at keeping this up-t0-date now that we have internet at our fingertips just about 24/7. umm, yeah ...

so the last three weeks have been, well ... exhausting. we've been in and out of doctors' offices, labs, specialists, and each other's arms as we try to find an idea or two about the craziness in jason's head - no, not his loveable and zany wit, but headaches, vision issues, numbness in arms and head/face, swollen eyelid, small pupil, pounding metal in rythym with his heartbeat, sleep paralysis, etc., etc., etc.

we have been receiving EXCELLENT medical care and attention, but right now we're in the place where we've ruled out a lot (all the serious stuff like stroke, anurism, hemorraghing) but still have the doctors scratching their heads in fascination of a weird combination of symptoms.

in the midst of all this, we moved to corona (yay), and i have been re-adapting into a work-from-home schedule to juggle.

we have been so blown away by the countless reminders from our Dear Father that He is intimately involved and keeps providing in amazing ways. around random bends in the road, from work phone calls right when we need it, to dinner being brought over by friends at church , to an anonymous envelope with cash (hello!?), to other surprises, there is no way we can question that He wants us to KNOW He is at work.

so that's us. we're tired. we've had to apply a lot of this year's life lessons this month, especially Who to Fear. but we're together, so we're good.

Door #2

2007-09-02T22:16:00.000-07:00

So, it's been some busy days. Lots going on - moving to Corona, working hard on what comes while watching our funds dip lower and lower, visiting doctors and hearing fun things like "hmmm, weird". I mention it all not to complain but because with all that have come reminders of lessons we learned that need to be put into practice - we can fear everything, or fear God. We choose door #2. He's provided an abundance of practical reminders that He's two steps ahead.

Now in the midst of this crazy week, we got an email from a friend in Bangladesh - yeah, turns out they've got a flood covering most of their districts. He sent some pictures and all week they've been in my head. Reminding me what to be thankful for here. And what to pray for our brothers and sisters there. The pictures are pretty intense and I'm going to upload them here even though they're pretty small. Let them remind you, too ...

Putting the word out

2007-08-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

Alright, here's the deal. We've been given a story. We'd like to tell it. Anywhere and to anyone. Men. Women. Youth. 10 people. 1000 people. So if you know anyone that wants to hand us the floor/mic/whatever, let us know.

Life and Life

2007-08-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting week. Lots to think about LIFE. When it starts, when it ends ...

Most of you know that I came home with a passion for adoption - among other passions :), basically all of which revolve around the fundamental goal of connecting needs to resources.

So I've been pursuing work in the adoption field, anywhere from practicing adoption law to working for an agency to whatever would teach me more. This week brought the idea of possibly working in a program for Embryo Adoption - a brand new (for me) avenue. And a direct answer to prayer from our very personal Lord - I cried out to him on Thursday that I was out of ideas, and on Friday this new idea called. It's been simply fascinating to contemplate all the issues that science now brings, the ethical and moral considerations involved, and the simple awe of a God who still controls what we think we might have mastered - for instance, I was told of a story where one embryo was implanted and identical twins were born, reminding us all that as much as science can answer, there is still a Sovereign who dictates when and how life begins.

We also attended a funeral this week in celebration of a 95-year life that has now ended. There's nothing more humbling than honoring such a long life, and I'll admit that half of my tears were for the family that is now mourning her, and half were in contemplation of what funerals my future holds - who will be the last of my close friends to pass? Who will be the first? How will we all cope with saying goodbye? I'm not being morbid, really I'm not. And then yesterday we were talking to this dear woman at church who said "I have leukemia, so I'm dying" ... she said it with such a sparkle in her eye and a readiness to meet the Lord, that once again, we were set back on our heels in wonder.

Life. What will we do with it? What will you?

Girls!

2007-08-13T12:14:00.000-07:00

Girls that I LOVE!!!! Yes, this is Brooke writing. Had a blast last weekend re-uniting with old roomies. We're all spread out around the country now, but the beautiful new mama (Erin) just moved back to Cali, so it was time for a reunion. Enjoy the cuteness (her name is Sophie).

We have a house!

2007-08-07T15:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's not ours, but we'll be house-sitting in Corona - SO close to church, yay - starting in September through January. We're SO excited to be in one place for awhile, and though we've had our socks blessed off by those who have welcomed us in, it's time for us to stretch our elbows in "our own space" for a bit. Yay yay yay.

Woolly Wonderland

2007-07-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

Alright, there are no longer (were there ever?) Woolly Mammoths here in the great land that has them as its mascot, but Mammoth is still a wonderland to explore. We've spent the last week up here with the Miller family, and as I write, the rain is coming down strong amidst peals of thunder - the perfect ending, really. Yesterday we were chased out of the high country by this same storm that has now followed us all the way back to the condo. But we did make it through Duck Pass up to Duck Lake, about 11,000 feet - BEAUTY! The week has also been filled with lots of simple things like rest, fishing, golf, and house-hunting (for our bro/sis-in-law, not us). All the while we are trying to fight the anxiety bug that wants to make us worry when we try to puzzle piece the future. We know whose capable and trustworthy hands hold all things practical, and there we too must stay.

Sevens

2007-07-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

Well here in the 7th month of the year we've been surrounded by several sevens. One of our dearest friends, Kristen, got engaged on 7-7-07; so cute, I know. It's fun, too, because I (Brooke) lived with her when I got engaged, and we are now staying with her when she's gotten engaged.

And last weekend we had seven munchkins to love on over at the Spansels. These are the ones we talk about virtually nonstop. Mom had a birthday to celebrate, so we took over for a night. Umm, hello a lot of work. The kids are AMAZING, and have been raised to be delightful. But still, a lot of time and attention to pour out of two into seven. But also a ton of fun. We're definitely going to be the kind of parents that gush about our own kids and tell all their funny little stories and retorts and such.

And finally, in seven short days we'll be spending seven days in dear old Mammoth - a Miller family summer tradition. As crazy as we've felt while bouncing all around So. Cal., we're excited for the week of rest and play.

As I write this, J is in one interview only to head to yet another this afternoon. So we're hoping that we're close to knowing some next steps, but in the meantime life is FULL as we take each day.

Still reflecting

2007-07-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever looked at something without really feeling like you're grasping it? You keep looking, sometimes even straining, all the while trying to explain to someone what's in your line of vision, and you bounce between moments of clarity and blurs. That's kind of how this last month has felt. The last thing we want is for this last year to be packaged up with a pretty bow and set up on a shelf to look at as "our little adventure". This year was real life. This coming year is real life. How do we take what one year of life taught us and apply it to this next round of ever-moving life? At the same time, there is a necessary time of reflection and gazing after a year of this kind of significant lessons. We haven't written much this month because, while we've been talking and talking and talking as we catch up with loved ones, we often feel lost to aptly describe what we're thinking or feeling.

On the pragmatic side of life, our days in and days out have been full of continued grace as we are welcomed into one house after another - but we're so ready to land in a little corner of the world we can call our own again! So of course we're looking for jobs, both traditional and not-so-orthodox, knowing that we would be fools to think the Father would lead every step for this last year only to abandon us now that we're in a place we "know".

We'll try to get better about intentionally describing what we're peering at through the looking glass as real life continues.

Three Down

2007-06-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

This marriage business is an amazing gift, let me tell ya. Today marked three years from the time we stepped out into this wide world as man and wife. We could not be more thankful or amazed at what has been given to us in three short years ...

Life back in the not-so-fast lane

2007-06-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

Two weeks yesterday. Two weeks of “being back” that are entirely difficult to try and summarize or explain, aside to say that it’s been very good, but very surreal. What we didn’t expect when we stepped out of LAX was for everything to be so normal. Like we’d never left. Like you feel when you’ve been engrossed in a movie and then walk back out of the theatre – just an eight month movie. Fiji was a real gift from God as it was basically our de-brief week. We didn’t do much of anything. We talked, reflected, prayed, cried (okay, I think that was just me and not Jason), and worked through the emotions and anticipation of this chapter ending and preparing to turn the page of the next.

I can tell you this, though. We feel called to this culture. That has drastically changed the way we see things. When we turned our cell phones on, it certainly didn’t feel good to sign a contract obligating us to pay more each month for cell phone usage than food and lodging would have cost for weeks in Vietnam. But in a culture that communicates and relates and connects via instant cellular connection, we can honestly say we are choosing that expense as a means of ministering in this society. It’s interesting, actually, to be using those words, because I think when for eight months you’ve been looking and analyzing what you see as a culture around you, you do the same when you return – you recognize things that you didn’t before, and you recognize them as cultural distinctions – “normal life” for Southern California, maybe, but not necessarily “normal life” around the world.

One of those cultural distinctions is just how fast everything and everyone moves here. Like everything is a frenetic race. There is such a fast-paced-production-driven mentality in this home culture of ours, and seeing it again in action has helped cement some things about what we came to understand about how America is perceived around the world – in politics, in missions, etc. Somewhere along the journey we slowed down internally and we don’t want to race back into the fast lane, but to live at a pace where we can breathe.

Mark 5:19 is a treasured directive to us right now … “Go home to your friends and family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” The mercies and things He’s done for us this year are abundant, so we’re processing and praying and taking whatever doors open to share it, whether from behind a microphone or across a coffee table.

The time has come ...

2007-05-19T06:13:00.000-07:00

It is absolutely surreal to think that the time has come to say that we will be back on U.S. soil in just a week's time.

There really isn't any way to describe how it feels to be looking ahead and looking back with such fondness for both.

Guess we'll have to take a vote on whether to keep up this blog once we have cell phones again ... but for at least this last week we'll be sequestered away from the internet as we take deep and ponderous breaths.

It has been GREAT to share this journey with you. Cheers.

Puzzle Pieces

2007-05-18T00:56:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about puzzle pieces all day ... the way things fit just right. The pieces might look odd alone, but together they make sense.

We've been in a lot of different styles and formats and sizes of fellowship these past eight months. From five of us sitting in an apartment with praise on our lips, to crowded grass-roofed clay buildings with an old gas-can serving as the tambourine, to programs where entrance is based on your passport, to standing among thousands while singing along to a well-polished praise band, to a side-street mission that hosts a fascinating blend of young artists and the down-and-out. All different pieces to the same puzzle. Each looks and feels different, and sometimes might not even make a lot of sense, until you step back and look at how they all fit. We know because WE fit in each one. We might not have always looked or felt like we did, but nonetheless each was home when the name of the Son was lifted up.

We've also been in and out of so many types of homes and families it can make the head spin. Each fascinatingly shaped and crafted to fit into one amazing trip this year. This particular puzzle is nearly complete - almost every piece has now been fit together and we can look back on a beautiful piece of work that didn't always make sense if we were looking at just one piece or another.

But the other puzzle - the one that all us oddly shaped pieces make up as believers - that one's not complete yet. Maybe soon. Maybe Someone is looking at a nearly completed picture. Maybe there are still a lot of missing pieces. We've seen only the tiniest corner, but it's beautiful ...

B-E-A-utiful

2007-05-11T16:27:00.000-07:00

The other day I heard a quote that photo albums (substitute blogs) are made up of one pretty snapshot to another. The normal days are what get you between snapshots. Well, lest anyone be confused, life is still full of normal days when you're travelling the world, but those snapshot days are pretty incredible.

Yesterday was a snapshot day. Our trigger-happy fingers snapped plenty of shots, actually, and we'll post them soon. Sydney is B-E-A-utiful! Seriously, one of the prettiest cities I've ever been in.

The Royal Botanic Gardens near the Opera House highlighted our day yesterday. Wild Cockatoos are in the trees (have we mentioned Australia's amazing birdlife!? Rainbow Lorikeets EVERYWHERE). Fruit bats - hundreds of them - decorated one corner of the gardens. Creepy and fascinating at the same time. Not too used to seeing bats in the daylight. But remember, this is still in a CITY, not a wildlife preserve or something.

The water of the Harbour is just as clear as the see-through waters of the Islands that we've become so fond of.

And the Opera House ... well, it really is an odd building, isn't it? But it works - it caught our eye all day, reminding us "we're in SYDNEY - yay".

It's definitely colder here down South, but despite rain forecasts, the sun has befriended us and is now beckoning us to a second day of exploring this beautiful city.

42 Wallaby Way Sydney

2007-05-08T15:48:00.000-07:00

Well we leave today for major Road Trip #2. Where are we going? I'll tell you where we're going - P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.

The closer we get to coming home and talking about all this in person, the more difficult I find it to write and tell you about it. But one thing should be made clear. If you ever get a chance to come to Australia, make it a priority. It really is an amazing place to visit...

When we finish this week long road trip and return to our comfortable castle in Brisbane, the family we are staying with will be gone on a trip of their own. It will be interesting to have a few days here on our own. They have become dear friends, and we will miss our nightly conversations. It is truly amazing how God orchestrates our lives, who we will meet, and how long we will have with them. The house and the car they have let us borrow has certainly been a blessing, but we have been far more blessed by their companionship these past few weeks...

So here is a strange thing. As we travel south it gets colder. Welcome to living upside down. And for those of you wondering, yes when you flush the toilet the water does spin the other way...

Looking forward to seeing all of you soon!

Grammar

2007-05-05T19:23:00.001-07:00

Ideal. Adjective. Camping along the Eastern Australian Coast, awaking to sunrise on the Pacific each morning.

Awe. Noun. A feeling of wonder at pausing in the middle of the ocean and being told to jump into the coral wonderland below.

Wonder. Verb. The force that works against keeping your jaw closed around the snorkel while floating above coral gardens of vibrant colors.

Vibrant. Adjective. Colors of coral and fish that make Nemo’s anemone look like a common apartment.

Unbeatable. Adjective. Taking a boat two hours off shore to ‘Bait Reef’ with five other people, strapping on an oxygen tank, and scuba diving with Turtles and Sharks.

Surreal. Adjective. Holding the hand of the one you love as you swim through and above the awesome, wonder-inspiring, vibrant and unbeatable environment that is the Great Barrier Reef.

Humility. Noun. The only response possible to the One creative enough to confound the mind and heart with the wonders the eyes can take in.

Muckadilla

2007-04-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

So, The Outback. No, not the restaurant. I’m talking the real, honest, actual bush walking, kangaroo hunting, livestock raisin’, desert meets farming Aussie Outback. It was awesome. A totally different pace of life from what us city folk are used to. It was Geoff’s sister’s home and they live on 40,000 acres give or take just outside of ‘Muckadilla’ – could there be a better name for a town? They raise cattle, sheep and goats, but they also have wild goats, emu, and kangaroos. It’s his sister, her husband, and one hired man that run the whole thing. They were very kind and generous, drove us around the land and gave us an Australian Safari. It was fun seeing the Roos and Wallaby hopping about. Right now they are in the middle of a very difficult drought so there’s not much for their stock to eat. But they don’t complain much. They trust the good Lord for what they need, and live by sun up and sundown. It’s a simple but not easy way of life and I can see how it could be very rewarding. The first thing you notice is the quiet, followed by all the stars at night. It is always amazing to “be still and know”…

I (Jason) got up at 3:45 in the morning and climbed a local mountain with some of the “mates” from here. In the words of one of them, “A- maze- ing”. The views were incredible, and the climb was sketchy at best. But it was awesome to be out and about in God’s creation. We feel very at home here, because so much of the culture and terrain is similar to California. Geoff and Lyndal have been great friends to have here. So generous with their time and resources. God has surrounded us with wonderful people both home and abroad and we are thankful.

We leave on Tuesday to go up the northern coast so we may be out of internet for a while but we’re getting close to coming home, we miss everyone, we’re excited to see you soon, and Australia is “A- maze- ing”.

Aussie Land

2007-04-24T23:10:00.000-07:00

Not gonna lie, we’re pretty stoked to be introduced to Aussie Land. Friends of Steve & Kris Smith have welcomed us in and made us feel right at home. We’ve indulged in the simple pleasures like carpeted floors, thick mattresses, and mosquito-free walks. We’re just outside of Brisbane, which has stunningly endless skies and many places to explore within 100 km. or less. Tonight I’m going to put my Thai cooking class to the test and tomorrow we’re heading to the Outback … yes, THE Outback … for a few days. Cheers!

asia in the rear-view mirror

2007-04-21T04:58:00.000-07:00

Today we counted to figure out that we've spent 4-1/2 of the last 6+ months in Asia. That ends tonight. Wow. We're on our way to Australia now, which we're super excited to explore. We are so grateful for the "play time" the Father is giving us, not to mention the cushion of a cultural stepping stone.

I wonder what Asia will look like in our rear-view mirror. To be honest, we never would have chosen to come to Asia, so it's funny that it's dominated our trip. But we've loved so much of it and been introduced to an important side of the world that we couldn't really appreciate without our time here.

V-Tech, PBA & Norco

2007-04-19T22:29:00.000-07:00

This year has placed me in positions where I’ve felt more vulnerable than ever before – between traffic insanities, diseases I can’t even pronounce carried by bugs of all shapes and sizes, political instability and loud protests, questionable standards or transportation, villages where people have been arrested and/or martyred for their faith – recently, and a passport from a country now known as a target. We’ve been in places where it wouldn’t be all that surprising to have something devastating happen, something even fatal – because it has, and it just so happens that it wasn’t to us. I’m not going to pretend it’s been easy to be in those situations because the spirit of fear takes possibilities and makes the thought of them nearly paralyzing were it not for the One who is stronger than fear. But a classroom on a Virginia Campus is what we see has claimed the lives of over 30 people? This is crazy-making. A classroom never ranked on my most-vulnerable list.

The U.S. Supreme Court just surprised a lot of Americans by maintaining a ban on a procedure that surprises most of the world. I remember sitting with several international friends when partial-birth abortion was being debated in the Supreme Court back in 2000. “Barbaric” was the term they used – most of them from ‘liberal’ countries, all working in human rights and thinking the U.S. has no right pointing fingers at other human rights abuses while we continue to allow such procedures. How an article can in the same paragraph describe the procedure of crushing a fetus’ head and articulate that it could be considered anything less than murder honestly baffles me.

Last night we were watching a movie called “Rapid Fire”, based on a bank robbery that turned into the most violent battle of U.S. Law Enforcement history. It took place in Norco. Here we are sitting in Asia, reflecting on weeks and months of vulnerability that the Father has taken us through, and the movie we’re watching of such desperate and purposeless violence is taking place in NORCO.

In just over a month we return to our indigenous roots. I had a dream the other night – I was going to a play, one where I had a role but hadn’t learned my lines or remembered my cues from my Acting Coach. Countries all around this world are hurting, and ours is not an exception. The evil and desperation that would lead a 23-year old to shoot people because he was teased by rich brats … the disconnection from logic in debating the killing of a living fetus … the violence brought on by a drive for nothing more than money. This is the set stage for the roles we all have to play. What are our lines? What are our cues? What has our Acting Coach been teaching us that we need to put into practice?

You just gotta see it

2007-04-17T00:30:00.000-07:00

The last day of the Festival (Sunday) we made our way down to a local Starbucks that boasts a third story. From this vantage point we were able to capture these moments for you to get an idea of what we were trying to describe. We of course got drenched again on the way back, but it was a hot day, and even when you want to get mad when a bucket's dumped on you, those dang smiles keep you laughing.

Elephants!

2007-04-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

Yay, I got to play with Elephants - a feisty one year old who liked to play tug of war and is STRONG. But stinking adorable!

Songkran = WET

2007-04-13T19:41:00.000-07:00

Wow, Thais don't mess around when it comes to celebrating. Songkran, the Thai New Year, is celebrated for three full days ... and day number two is just starting. Yes, we're back in Thailand - up north in Chiang Mai this time. Which just so happens to be the main hub for celebrating Songkran. We're not talking party hats and noise makers, but all out water warfare - with a smile. Pretty much if you go out during the day you're going to get soaked ... and I mean SOAKED. We spent 11 hours on a boat in the Philippines (not the best idea we've ever had) which was basically Big Foot Rapids on steroids, but I think we got even more wet during our thirty-minute tuk-tuk (rickshaw taxi) ride yesterday. It's pretty amazing. People literally line the roads armed with buckets of all sizes and large bins full of water - some clean, some not so clean. Beds of pick-up trucks are converted into mobile water-launching machines when 5-10 Thais of all ages crowd in with squirt guns and buckets. But the absolute best part is the constant grins that you see everywhere you look. This is just a FUN festival. It's like a youth group event that the whole country joins in on for DAYS. Even when someone nails you with a bucket of ice-cold or river-warm water, once you wipe the water from your eyes and catch the smile, you can't help but smile back.

God - the Magnificent Artist

2007-04-09T03:02:00.000-07:00

I read a quote the other day and I don't remember it exactly but I can fake it enough to get the point across ...

Nothing pleases the creater more than to have others explore his creation.

This has not hit so close to the heart as this past week. For some reason it is easy to believe that anything we enjoy is "selfishness" and not of our creator. Yet plainly we serve a God who delights in being delighted in. Swim his waters and see the myriads of colors and shapes. Walk his shores and see the rugged coast contrast with smooth perfectly white sand. Sit beneath his sky and watch the deep blue explode into pinks and yellows as the sun sets for the day. The attention to detail speaks of an artist who takes pride in the beauty of his craft. One who takes pleasure in the praise, awe, and wonderment of those who behold the work of his hand. During this easter week I didn't read much of his story written on paper, but I heard his witness shouted through a thosand voices of fish and island, rock and water, hue and scape. We have run along his canvas, swam in his aquariam, bathed in the beauty of his creativity.

Who can fathom the depth of our God? Our Magnificent artist?

Umm, yeah ...

2007-04-09T02:03:00.000-07:00

Incommunicado

2007-04-01T03:45:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to give everyone a heads up that we don't expect to have internet access for the next week or so. We're headed to Palawan - our bodies and minds are so ready for a week of pure and simple holiday ... well, it does include a 9-hour bus ride, so maybe simple isn't the right word ... well, we'll let you know next week!

The Best of Bangkok

2007-03-30T23:26:00.000-07:00

Our time in Bangkok just started and is nearly done, but as always, the Father knew what we needed and when.

We've had a fabulous time connecting with Santosh - a friend from Orange that is working here this year. We joined him in one of the local slums on Thursday where he and a few others have started to teach English in order to build relationships. It's really encouraging to be reminded of all the simple ways to connect with communities - especially children, they are so ready for relationship all around the world.

Yesterday we took the morning to see Thailand - all of it, actually. There's a place called 'Ancient City' just outside of Bangkok. It's a park that's shaped like Thailand and has replicas of all the most famous sites in Thailand - not the original sizes, but not miniatures either. It sounds cheesy, but it's REALLY well done. Think Disney's California Adventure without rides, crowds or salespeople. The man who built this place really wanted to preserve authentic Thai history, and the replicas are pretty amazing, so it was a sweet way to see Thailand as we couldn't have otherwise seen it.

This morning J & Santosh played basketball and now we're headed for some famous Thai massage therapy to allow those muscles to keep travelling :), and tonight we fly out to the Philippines.

Catching you up

2007-03-28T02:11:00.000-07:00

I guess we haven't said much about what we got to see/be a part of in Quy Nhon - likely a by-product of the saturation effect.

We were there to see two friends of mine from the days of Mariners College Group - Jason & Jill. Jill's prego with their first baby and oh so ready to meet her baby girl this summer! Both of them teach English and we got to be a part of some classes - because they're learning about geography/describing countries, it was a perfect time for us to share about where we've been so far. They had questions about the different foods, different clothes ... I don't know if it's possible to walk into a friendlier room than each classroom we visited.

Quy Nhon is a small town - mostly a fishing port; thus all the pictures of the vibrant boats. As soon as you get out of town, everything is green and wet and full of rice fields. It is absolutely beautiful - hopefully some of the pictures can give you a glimpse.

One of our favorite things to do was ride our bikes along the beach road - on the one side were beautiful islands out in the water, but on the other side was very real life occuring in front of you. Many of the homes were literally chopped in half to create the new road - it's still the family's home, but now half of the walls/roof are missing. Crazy.

Best of all was just the simple time with Jason, Jill, & their co-teacher Mark. It's so fun to laugh and share what the Father is teaching along this journey of life. Every time I think about sites or activities that fill the guidebooks, I also remember that I wouldn't trade the time that we've had with Family.

And now we're in Bangkok; we just have three days here, but as soon as we catch up from the last 30 hours of travel, we're excited to dig in.

Same Same

2007-03-28T02:08:00.000-07:00

I love good endings, and we had the best ending to our time with Jason & Jill this weekend. We left Quy Nhon (kwin yawn) by train to Tam Ky (tom key) and then on to Hoi An (hoy on). Hoi An is charming, almost European-esque – it’s on the water, with shops and restaurants lining each side and lots of alleys to wander through.

It’s a definite tourist town, which is a bit of an anomaly for us. Probably the most English we’ve heard in a café in a long time (not to mention it just being the first time in a café in awhile), and the first day I was here I thought about divers – don’t they go through a process that’s kind of a slow re-entry to the surface after being submerged for awhile? Well, I took a deep breath and thought “okay, this is the beginning of that process for us.”

But even in entering a town where there are more people the “same” as us than not, there is a lot that is “same same”, the Asian equivalent to our “same, but different”. On the one hand, many of the travelers here are on the same kind of trip, but there are so many dynamics we’ve been allowed to experience that are missing from the typical “backpacker” trip … so many more faces to associate with places than sights alone. I want my life to be this way – same same. In the world, not of it. I’m nowhere close, and fight the desire of self-indulgence (not just satisfaction, mind you, but indulgence) on a nearly daily basis, but maybe success is more in the constant tension than anything else. What I know for sure is that the One who made me the same as those around me can also give me a heart that is same same.

“Only by full dependence upon Him are the hidden potentialities of our natures realized. Apart from this we are but half-men, malformed & unbeautiful members of a noble race once made to wear the image of its Creator.” – A.W. Tozer, Pursuit of Man

Saturation

2007-03-20T07:01:00.001-07:00

So today I learned an important lesson – my pants get a bit indecent when saturated. And it didn’t take long for me to reach a saturation point in today’s downpour.

This matches a bit of what my heart and mind have felt lately: saturation. I’m not sure how much more I can absorb. There are moments I just feel done with being the tourist attraction for everyone to either practice their English on or to ask for money – or both. Moments I just want to know what I’m looking at in the grocery store. Or which direction to go to even get to the grocery store. And I think we reached our language capacity back in China.

The other day we found a “secluded” beach – it stayed secluded for about 15 minutes, until some of the local village children came to see the sights – us. ‘Personal space’ has no meaning, and I finally just started laughing when I looked up and was literally surrounded within inches. I had to fight the initial frustration in order to appreciate that it was pure curiosity that brought them, and finally as I sat up and laughed (the international language), their smiles in return won me over. Somehow I accidentally gave them the impression that I wanted them to collect seashells for me, so before I knew it I had about 10 pockets-full. By then my only frustration was the language barrier.

It’s not easy to be away from your home country for this long – but it is good. I was especially reminded of that yesterday as the Father renewed my heart. It was just one of those days when you’re aware of what you’ve been given. The air was clear, the day was bright, the islands off the coast inviting, and the breeze refreshing, not to mention the ridiculous privilege of getting to share life with those the Father has called here.

I still feel saturated, and now I know not to wear those pants if it looks like rain, but I’m glad to wake up where He has me.

Two by Two

2007-03-17T02:41:00.000-07:00

This week we've been able to see Jason and Jill in action with their English students - all first year University students with the innocence that most American students lose around 4th grade.

Last night, two by two on their bicycles, they (some of the students) led us through Quy Nhon for Bun Cao, Che, and other Viatnamese dishes that I can't pronounce. It was a great time for them to practice their English and for us to get to know more of their life.

So far, SO good

2007-03-13T07:54:00.001-07:00

Arrived in Vietnam last night and got to our friends this morning. Loved the train ride here and all the amazing scenery – this will sound silly, but I’m always excited when something looks like what I didn’t realize I expected it to until I see it – like women wearing the pointy straw hats … not because they’re “trying to look/dress Vietnamese”, but because we are actually in Vietnam and, uh, they ARE Vietnamese.

Was really a fun day connecting with Jason & Jill and getting a taste of their life at a University here in Quy Nhon. There’s something that will just always feel right about stepping foot on a university campus – we really love it.

First adventure in this country … learning how to navigate a bike alongside the myriads of other bikes and motorbikes and occasional taxis.

And oh yes, it’s so nice to be inhaling a sea breeze again … ahhh …

Wow…

2007-03-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

Today we leave Bangladesh. We are on our way to Vietnam where friends of Brooke are teaching English. We will spend 2 weeks there. Amazing that we are already on our way to Vietnam. It seemed so far away. While there we will pass our 2-months-left mark. It is hard to explain how odd that seems. Even more difficult is fighting off the excitement to be at home with family and friends again. This trip has been amazing so far and I’m sure there is more “Amazing” to come but the fact is our hearts are made for “home” and we are ready to be there. But the Father is good and we know he will help us to be focused on the places and things He still has for us. Speaking of home, we are just starting to question what He might have for us to do and be a part of when we get home and we would appreciate your petitions and thoughts along those lines. We are committed as much as ever to not dwell on the future too much as we want to be fully engaged with where we are for the present, but we recognize that we will not be traveling forever and want to start the process of seeking the Father’s will for this next phase of our life…

Great Minds Think Alike – well, sometimes … and this is one of those

2007-03-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

Saw a fight at the gas station this week. One auto rickshaw cut off a car as he waited in a long line. They started yelling at each other. Then one pushed the other. Then two other guys got involved. More yelling, more shoving. Then a fifth joined the fray and punches were thrown. One guy grabbed a 2x4. As the fight escalated our driver back out the car and took us to another gas station. It started me thinking - why do we act like this? What drives our anger as human beings? It was interesting timing as Brooke and I were set to teach from Mark 12 which identifies the focus of the believer’s life: to love God fully, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. In thinking through these two commandments a few things became apparent.

First, the world has spent all of history attempting to love their neighbor, without first loving God. So much energy has been poured into NGO’s, political movements, unilateral peace treaties, etc. … and while these things have had some good effects, they inevitably become abused by men who are ruled by greed and a sinful nature. It is therefore in my estimation impossible for man to truly love man without first loving God.

Second, our interaction with man and response to our neighbor is the physical manifestation of our spiritual beliefs. Every religion makes verbal claims to their love for God, and to some extent for each other. So there is no real separation of religions by words. This separation occurs as these words are given life through our actions. As the book of James says, “Faith without works is dead”. If I had been one of those guys at the gas station how would my response have been different? If as a believer our response to our neighbor in both good times and bad is in direct connection to the relationship of love God desires us to have, then our response will be different from the rest of the world, and the world will take notice. It makes me want to think about my heart and my actions a little more carefully than perhaps I have before.

New Eyes

2007-03-06T19:56:00.001-08:00

I went in with eyes that were absorbing traffic and congestion of a busy city that makes traffic on the 91 seem like a vacation. I came out with eyes that could better appreciate that what I see is a long way from where they came. 36 years ago millions were flooding into India as refugees because of the mass genocide being wrought by Pakistani forces in a battle over the independence of Bangladesh as a nation. 36 years ago our friend’s mother lost two brothers in that war. 36 years ago journalists took pictures of walking skeletons somehow surviving a famine. 36 years ago the main leaders, educators, doctors, and intellectuals of the newly independent Bangladesh were murdered as Pakistan grudgingly lost the war and granted independence, betting on the instability that would be caused by killing their most educated citizens. I went in thinking that the environment would be a hard one to live in. I came out admiring that it is lived in today at all.

The source of my day’s education was the Liberation War Museum … a bit of a pre-taste, we suspect, for the museum awaiting us in Vietnam telling of our own country’s losses.

It is absolutely beyond reason what humanity can do to one another. I recently heard a comment that we cringe at animals who eat their young, but that pales in comparison to the atrocities humans perpetrate on humans. And the thing about taking in that kind of information is that it doesn’t seem possible that it could happen more than once. But it has and it does. Over and over and over again. And who is sought for the answers? Other broken humans – when a country’s in trouble, it calls to other “stronger” countries to step in. There’s a whole political balance that I won’t even try to analyze right now about when and where and how to intervene in world atrocities, but it strikes me as a paradox that we turn to another version of the very thing that’s attacking us. It’s kind of like turning to a tiger because a lion is chasing you – he seems kinder until he, too, is hungry enough to eat you.

I know the world wants to think that we as human beings have the answers and solutions to bring world peace, but we don’t. Days past and present prove that. When I asked our guide whether she held any particular faith, she said she believed in “humanity”. As we are looking at pictures of violence upon humanity by humanity, she nonetheless can look me full in the face and say she believes in it. The original lie in the Garden is the same one being told today – a desperate clinging to the hope that we think we can be “as God”.

There is one true God. He has left two commandments: Love Him, and love one another. Everywhere we hear people encouraging the second while ignoring the first. But the one can not be done without the other. If we do not seek the author and creator of love with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, what hope have we for love of one another?

Introductions

2007-03-06T19:54:00.000-08:00

We arrived in Dhaka on Sunday afternoon to the Bengali version of Erin Parsons’ smile (think Julia Roberts if you don’t know Erin J) … Luna is a friend from the Strasbourg program I attended seven years ago, and it was great fun to see her smile through the crowd. I internally chided myself for all my doubts about coming to Bangladesh – it’s still true that it’s a corner of the world that is constantly challenging my fears and vulnerabilities, but we have once again been led to a family that has taken us in as their own.

By way of brief introduction: Luna works with ‘Save the Children, Bangladesh’ as a Program Coordinator. She is the oldest of four children – Tina and Imman, her “baby” brother and sister, have been our attentive caretakers since we arrived, as she had to leave for an unexpected work conference for two days. Her mom – Amma – doesn’t speak English, but has communicated through her cooking - we have quickly come to understand that the Bengali way of hospitality involves a LOT of food.

The family’s religious background is a rare mixture of Hindu and Muslim, so we are sure to learn much as we share this week with them, and we look forward to more purposeful conversations as the Father pursues their hearts.

Miscellaneous Musings over China

2007-03-06T19:53:00.000-08:00

China was an amazing experience. First, I think because we have been third world for so long and this gave us a bit of a break from the harsh realities. Second, it is always good to be with old friends. Third, there is a big difference between our stays with His family, and our visits to other friends. We jumped in with both feet the moment we landed there and between meeting friends, trying new foods, babysitting, holding sick babies, exploring the city, and singing together it was immediate and continuous fellowship from start to finish. Truly God is good to give such connection in so little time. We look forward to continuing our friendship with this family, and to sharing more about our experiences here when we get home.

Our time in Beijing was sweet. The hostel we stayed in at first had me pretty concerned. “Walk down this alley, turn at another alley, go further into another alley” at which point just take your money and valuables and leave them at the front door and back away slowly J. But after navigating these side streets you walk through a non-descript door into the world of an intimate Chinese garden. The hostel is Templeside and if you are ever looking for a place to stay in Beijing we highly recommend it.

I hate steps. They kill my out of shape legs, hurt my knees, I hate steps. The one part of the Half Dome hike in Yosemite that bothers me are the steps up the mist trail. So you can perhaps imagine how my knees felt about the great wall. But to quote President Nixon, “I think, Mr. Secretary, you will have to admit that the wall is indeed great”. The views are breathtaking and you can feel the age of the land you are walking through. The only reminder of the present day is that every few hundred kilometers you meet a person selling cold beer, coke, t-shirts, and post cards. I wonder how often I have been the person to step into someone’s experience and abruptly remind them of reality. I wonder how often the church steps into someone’s experience with God to sell them a new book, CD or program, so that they can experience God.

Summer Palace was gorgeous and we saw it in the rain and fog. Meaning we didn’t see that much of it, but what we saw was beautiful. I am always amazed at the creativity God has given man when it comes to architecture. The master craftsman has given his creation a wonderful gift. The palace grounds make for a beautiful and serene walk along the hills overlooking Beijing. The oddity is that this palace was made possible by the misuse of funds. An empress took funds allocated to help her people and built herself a giant playground. The great wall has it’s darkside as well. 300,000 people were forced to work on the wall as slaves and if they refused were buried alive in the wall itself. So while we have been given the gift of creativity, our “creations” are never completely separated from our sinful humanity.

And we are landing in Bangkok. The flaps are up, the wheels are down, the plane is moving very slowly. We can see the city below us as we prepare to land thanks to the monitor from a camera mounted on the nose of the plan. And then. Complete acceleration, full throttle, no flaps, wheels come up, nose comes up and we are climbing in a banked turn like a roller coaster at Magic Mountain. My finely tuned brain reached deep into it’s verbose quiver and came up with the phrase “What the crap?”. Everyone is looking around at everyone else, we are at the brink of a chaotic melt down. Rioting could begin up and down the aisles at any moment. There will be looting of the peanuts and crackers, first class alcohol will be consumed by economy class passengers, someone will light a cigarette in the bathroom. And then. The pilot comes on to announce that there has been an unidentified aircraft that crossed our landing point and the tower has asked us to circle round and try landing again. Oh, okay. Circle once and land again. And we did. And the landing was soft. And Chaos was avoided … How often do we have unidentified objects cross our landing path, forcing evasive maneuvers and throwing us into the potential for chaos. Things are going smoothly, suddenly life gets very tense, your sense of vulnerability is exposed. In my experience most of these diversions are in reality easily explained and rectified, if not a purposeful part of our Father’s plan. At the brink of confusion I hope that I am willing to regroup before my Father, circle around and try again.

Heading to Dhaka

2007-03-03T19:03:00.000-08:00

In a few minutes we'll be getting on the plane for Dhaka, Bangladesh. We'll be staying with a friend's family and also teaching a bit on university campuses. So we expect to be on the go for most of our time there, but if nothing else we'll be back in the Bangkok airport next week and fill you in.

Grateful for all the prayers ... keep 'em coming!

Greatness

2007-03-02T17:42:00.001-08:00

Today we hiked the Great Wall of China. That’s right, didn’t see it, take a picture and turn around, but experienced 10k of it on foot … it’s pretty great. Truly dragon-esque as it curves through and over the hills. Absolutely incomprehensible that this thing was built B.C. and covers 600+ times the amount we traversed.

Yet it is not what has held my heart in awe this week. My eyes were in awe, and my legs will be deservedly sore from it’s many peaks and valleys for a bit now, but it was yesterday that made my eyes well up with tears as I once again considered the great gift in my hands. The week we had with our friends was full of sweet fellowship – most of the pictures you’ll see are of food and kids, because those were the two things we saw most – and have enjoyed most – for our time here in China. So as we said goodbye (a thing I pretty much always hate), I just had one of those moments of “what the heck, I can’t believe all we’ve been given.”

So I guess the thing about greatness is what it says about those who created the greatness you’re admiring. The Wall is absolutely an outrageous feat, and though it’s creation is blanketed in tragedy, it demands admiration of those who made it a reality. The One who can create families from strangers is more phenomenal still.

And a Child Shall Lead Them …

2007-03-01T02:15:00.004-08:00

It’s quite an experience to go shopping in a grocery store in China –wandering the aisles and trying to guess what you’re looking at and whether it matches your shopping list. But we brought my “tail” with us (so nicknamed by her mother because wherever Brooke goes, she is right behind) … so when in doubt, we relied on our 5-year old translator. She’s only lived in China for about a year and a half, but was on it whenever we needed her to ask a shop attendant whether they had goat’s milk or whether one bottle was shampoo or conditioner, etc.

It was pretty sweet to have people giggle with/at us as we bent down to find out the answer from our child leader …

Oh, and she wants you to know that she is from California and her mom is Chinese.

East meets East

2007-03-01T02:15:00.003-08:00

Tonight we had Indian food. The owner of the restaurant was a delightful host who has lived all around the world and was excited to have guests that had just been in India – but India’s a big place with a lot of variety, so we were excited that the region we had been in was the one he had grown up in and had hired a cook from – Gujurat. And as Rhishi and Hetal know, we loved the food. And oh my goodness was it good. Every single dish he brought out was incredible. We heard ourselves saying things like “wow, this is so authentic” (and in my head thinking “I never thought I’d know that kind of thing”).

So we got to introduce our American friends to Indian food in China at a restaurant owned by a Pakistani.

Those aren’t raindrops

2007-03-01T02:15:00.001-08:00

Day One for us in China was Day Five of the Chinese New Year. That means a lot of Chinese history and traditions (one of which is not to receive visitors – oops), but the one you can’t miss is setting off of firecrackers throughout – and I mean throughout – the city. Since we just left a land with tin roofs and heavy rain storms, it just sounded to us like we were in the midst of a continuous downpour. But those weren’t raindrops we were hearing. Firecrackers and fireworks of all shapes and sizes are shot off along streets (as people bike by), out of apartment windows, and on bank door steps from just after sundown until the wee hours of the morning. So we of course joined in – before the wee hours of the morning arrived - and along with our friends and their 4 & 5 year olds, lit a few fuses and responded with a few squeals. Okay, us girls squealed and the guys just couldn’t hide the giddiness of living out their boyhood dream of setting things on fire and watching them blow up.

Oh yeah, and it’s cold. But refreshing – like we finally got to stick our heads in the freezer to cool off.

On top of all that, it’s just really nice to be with old friends and to be part of their world for a short time.

We are The Others

2007-02-19T08:06:00.000-08:00

Today felt like we'd fast forwarded and went straight from Africa to Fiji. But no, the white sands and AMAZING turqoise water of Mbudya Island is a mere five minute boat ride off the coast of Dar. We were treated to this "locals' beach" with Gil & Amy (friends from the yesteryears of Ibex) and their new baby girl (Grace - 14 months old). It was her first boat ride - check her out in the lifejacket, it's fabulous - and Jason's first time snorkeling. The tide was super low, so we were hovering JUST over some amazing coral reefs with a great variety of fish that we would never be creative enough to design.

Leaving Kigoma

2007-02-18T00:03:00.000-08:00

We head out this afternoon for Dar, and on Wednesday for Beijing ... yikes, life out of a backpack and in lots of airports again!

Please remember that for the next month and a half we will be in countries with less freedom than we enjoy. WHATEVER YOU WRITE ON E-MAILS OR COMMENTS CAN BE READ LIKE A POSTCARD. Thanks ...

O-oh

2007-02-14T04:40:00.001-08:00

That's Moses' version of "Uh-oh" ...

Here's the deal - the last few morning we've woken up a bit chilly - in the 70's. And we're headed to China, where it will be in maybe the 20's.

Yeah, big fat "O-oh" to that.

A Memory To Savor

2007-02-14T04:40:00.000-08:00

I remember in the classic “Parent Trap” movie when young Haley Mills smells her Grandpa’s smoking jacket so she can remember him whenever she smells peppermint and tobacco.

Well there aren’t a lot of smells I want to keep with me as we get ready to leave Africa, but there are sounds. This afternoon the youth leaders surrounded us to pray for the rest of our trip. The prayer started as a song. I sat there just wishing my brain could record their voices – the harmonies, the obvious sincerity. Heck, I cry when “normal” prayers are being offered on my behalf – hearing it sung took it up a notch. What the heck.

I doubt it’s really possible to recognize or express how different people impress your life, and usually the depths of those impressions aren’t apparent until later. But these youth definitely joined those ranks …

The gist of their song was this: Nothing can I trust, except the blood of Jesus. I don’t have good deeds that can clean my sin. On Jesus I can stand. That is my rock and my safety. If my way would be long, he would offer me salvation. If waves rock the boat, his power is my stand. His blood and sacrifice are what I depend on. If called to stand before the court, I don’t have a friend before Jesus. I have peace in my heart; I am not afraid before Him.

Asante Sana, Rafikis.

Greetings From a Delirious Friend...

2007-02-14T04:35:00.000-08:00

So it’s been a while since I wrote a blog and Brooke has been on me to sit down and write so I’m just going to let things come as they do…

…Super Tuesday, February 6 Had the opportunity to see the Super Bowl , one of the neighbors here recorded it off of Satellite TV. SO I had to discipline myself not to look up Yahoo or ESPN for a few days. It was the first American Football Game I have seen in months and since the Colts won it turned out to be a good day J. The only bummer was that it was a copy from ESPN so we didn’t see any of the new commercials. So I guess Brooke and I will have to catch up on those when we get back.

…So I’m sick again, probably Malaria, high fever, joint ache, stomach cramps, etc. … I’m thankful that we have access to and can afford good medication. Malaria is deadly because many people don’t have access to its cure. That leaves something to be pondered - how many other things are involved in my world that would be deadly to most people but I have access and means for the cure? Really and truly we are a blessed nation and need to continue living in that recognition sharing what we have been given and living openhanded before the Lord.

…I spoke at my last African church on Sunday, just before I got sick. God was good to give me health through the service. I really have enjoyed preaching here, it has been a good time of discipline in the Word studying and preparing to present His Word to others. I preached on Living in a relationship of Love with God instead of a relationship of duty and obedience for Him. I have no idea if anyone has learned much from my preaching, but I know that God has expanded my own knowledge and experience of Him through these times of preparation. Preaching can be a very humbling thing, even before you do it.

…We leave for China in less than a week. I have never in my life been all that desirous to spend time in Asia, but the closer we get to it the more God lays it on my heart. I am excited first to see my friend Jim, who I taught with for a year in 2002-2003. But more than that I am actually becoming intrigued by the Chinese culture in specific, as well as the Asian cultures in general. Plus the 2008 Olympics are being held in Beijing so we will be able to see some of the preparations for that. We are only in China 9 days, definitely not enough time to see it all, so maybe we will have to come back for the Olympics? Hmm …

…Brooke and I will be speaking 3 or 4 times in Bangladesh after we leave China, so please remember those times. We also will be staying with a Muslim friend of Brooke’s which should be an interesting and enjoyable experience.

…It’s hard not to look ahead, as we see the second half of our experience looming closer, and start thinking about home, and what we will do and where we will be when we get back. I’m not sure what God has, I don’t want to miss out on what he has planned here and now, but I also don’t want to be foolish and not think through our next steps.
…For those of you who are wondering, the life of a vagabond can be glamorous, and it can also be a pain in the butt (and stomach, and head, and … )

A reminder

2007-02-09T00:22:00.000-08:00

Master of beauty, craftsman of the snowflake, inimitable contriver, endower of Earth so gorgeous & different from the boring Moon, thank you for such as it is my gift.
- John Berryman

Watoto

2007-02-09T00:21:00.001-08:00

There might be nothing cuter than dozens of watoto (“children” – quite possible my favorite Swahili word) crying out a greeting of “Wazungu!” (literally, “white person”), to which we playfully respond “Hello, African” and make our Tanzanian friends laugh. They got even cuter yesterday in Ujiji (a town we visited to see the David Livingstone Memorial) … calling out “Bye-bye” as they waved, so clearly excited to be able to “greet” us in English.

Our friend Biroto, one of the youth leaders, is a 22 year old guy who simply drinks up all the information either of us can offer on the Word, Grace, America, life. He led us through Ujiji as he grew up there. When he brought us to his own home, his little siblings ran into the yard and stopped short when they saw us, then ran back to announce “Wazungu!” to their Mama J

Moving Day

2007-02-05T23:23:00.001-08:00

“Hello, friend.” These are simple words that I’ve expressed to numbers of people – always sincerely, but often without much foresight of any impact they could have. But today while talking with Jackson, he told us what a powerful effect it had on him when we called him “friend”. We got to meet Jackson because he works with Harold & Coni, but at some undistinguishable moment he moved from someone that works with friends to a friend himself. I just wish you could all get to meet he and his wife and literally feel the joy that emanates from their smiles. Jackson has a heart for the Father and a depth of understanding that we’ve found to be rare here in Kigoma – he treats his sons and wife as the gifts from God that they are; he is diligent in his work and we have not once heard him complain, even when the hours are long; and not once has he asked for anything from us, which makes it all the more exciting when we are able to give something they need, or even just want, because as he said, it’s a “testimony to him from the Lord.” It makes me think of Isaiah 65:24: “Before they call, I will answer.” What fun when the Father leads someone to be an answer to a request that hasn’t even verbalized yet – at least not to anyone but Him.

Saturday was moving day for Jackson’s family – it’s hard to explain the living conditions they had before without making it sound like a Compassion commercial, but suffice it to say that there were a lot of smiles as we all unloaded them at their new home that is sanitary, has indoor plumbing, is in a safer neighborhood, and with a landlady who gave her life to the Son a few years ago, was banished from her Muslim husband, and has been praying ever since for someone to move in that could teach her more from the Word.

Before THEY called, He answered …

One of 200

2007-02-05T23:22:00.001-08:00

So, turns out Jacob did have malaria, but was in more immediate danger from starvation. Because the only thing he’d eaten all week was one of the PB&J’s at Kids’ Club on Tuesday. The man and woman he lived with kicked him out last week because he wasn’t brining in food or money – silly kid, he was going to school instead. They sold his school uniform and shoes, though, so the only way he is able to continue going to school is because Mama Joshua (Coni) was willing to purchase him a replacement set. So he’s now staying with a friend and returned to school on Monday.

This was hard information to process – and maybe because knowing about one specific case makes you wonder more about all the others you don’t know about … how many of the other 200 kids had only a PB&J to eat last week?

Jacob

2007-02-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

Since we have internet right now, we want to ask you all to pray for Jacob, a young boy (10 years old?) who was just carried here by some of his friends ... carried because he is almost unconscious ... sound like any familiar sunday school stories?

Coni and a friend, Mwenge, just rushed him to the international dispensary here in town, in hopes that they can quickly diagnose whether it's malaria or something else and hopefully literally save his young life. He is an orphaned child who won Coni's heart long ago, and I would ask you to pray for her heart as she's with him as well.

By the way, Jackson - the friend we mentioned who was also very ill this week - is doing much better. Still needs prayer, but is recovering from a HORRIBLE case of what turned out to be shingles!

Thanks ...

Only in Africa

2007-01-31T00:03:00.001-08:00

Only in Africa could we ride in a helicopter on Thursday, and then have no electricity and sporadic internet for a week before we could actually tell anyone about it.

Hmmm, what to write about today ...

2007-01-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

Not sure what to write about just now … I could write more about the 200 children that swarm the yard every week to sing songs, learn stories of our Father, and chow on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Seeing the older carry the younger ones around on their backs makes my complaints of “growing up too fast” pretty lame in comparison (sorry Mom).

Or I could write about Jackson’s helicopter flight - a specific answer to a request he placed before the Father – that he would be able to fly someday. Even just once. In a plane, a helicopter; heck, I think he would’ve settled for a lounge chair with helium balloons tied on. But last Thursday he strapped into the Marine Reach helicopter as it introduced itself to Kigoma/Kaseke, and he told his four year old son that if God could give him the chance to fly, he might be able to have a car someday, too. Jackson is one of the main translators we’ve been able to work with, and we have been so blessed by his sincere heart for our Father. A few days ago we were able to meet his family – he has two boys, and his wife has a smile that gives meaning to the whole “light up a room” phrase (by the way, Jackson and his wife are VERY ill right now – he has a blood infection and she has malaria. Please lift them before the Father.). It was so much fun to see his nervous grin at take-off turn into an ear-to-ear smile by the time they landed. We, too, got to take a ride over the property to get some great aerial shots for planning, to understand the proximity of the neighboring villages to serve, etc. Bob, our British pilot, gave us quite a thrill by taking the doors off before we went up. I’m not gonna lie, a helicopter ride has been on my “hope to do someday” list for a long time, and I doubt there could be a better first ride than cruising over the longest lake in Africa with the wind in your face, getting up to almost three times higher than normal for the whole picture, looking down at a plot of land that has so much potential and three hundred giggling children waving up at you. It felt a lot like walking the property for Eagle Ridge – except when we would bank sharply and I remembered I was 5500 feet above the ground with only a seatbelt to rely on J.

I could tell you more about those swarms of children that flooded the area when their curiosity was peaked by the “big bird”. The land we were visiting was recently donated for their benefit … 100 acres that will hopefully be home to a secondary school, bible college, youth camp, medical/helicopter base, etc. Two amazing things you must know about these children: one, how quickly they appeared from what would seem to be a long distance. Two, how much they laughed and played as the helicopter flew above them, occasionally giving them the impression it was heading directly towards them J. Okay, there’s another thing you need to know: The villages they live in right now have only a primary school (equivalent to our elementary), a government dispensary that has to recycle it’s “sterile” gauze, and not even a dream of other means we hope to use to introduce them to the Lord.

I could write about the local pastor who’s currently in jail for “wounding religious feelings”. Seriously. There’s a law against that. He happened to “wound” the religious feelings of local Muslims who happened to bribe the local police to arrest him for teaching things about Mohammed they didn’t appreciate (i.e., factual history). His hearing is currently scheduled for the first week of February. We had the chance to sit down with a man who works closely with him and hear the full details – this is by no means an isolated instance. The tension in this country is not so far below the surface.

Or I could write more about the life of our dear friends who are willing to put up with us in their home for three more weeks. They’re human, and they let us see that, which in itself is still refreshing. They have had a lot of important decisions to make this month, especially as the Father opens new doors and closes others. One of their right-hands, Gabriel, just left for the States to attend Calvary Chapel Bible College in Murrieta. It was so exciting to see him off and know what a huge experience awaits him. They will miss him this year while he’s away, but are excited that he’ll finally see the important things America has to offer – like Wal-Mart and fast food, the building blocks to any happy life.

I could probably keep going, but now I’m fairly tired from thinking about all the things I could’ve written about …

Roadblocks

2007-01-21T07:22:00.000-08:00

We’ve tried to make three different trips to three different villages and have run into a variety of “roadblocks” (sickness, ferries “not working” due to corruption - i.e., only working for a certain price, a disease within the country Harold feels strongly about not contributing to, etc.). All we can do is shrug and remember “man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps”.

And the one trip that was roadblock-free? The safari (literally “trip” in Swahili) to Katavi. I’m prone to rank things I think are ‘just for pleasure’ at the bottom of the priority list, so in my economy I would’ve thought that if we were only going to actually succeed in one of the four planned safaris, it “should” be the one we wouldn't be able to take. But no, that’s not what the Father keeps teaching me … His economy seems to prioritize not just what I think I can DO for Him, but also what I can simply ENJOY.

Grace, Grace to all who love the Lord …

2007-01-21T07:19:00.000-08:00

until you sin and then you have to be saved again. Or so was thought by ten precious hearts until just recently. A year and a half of Harold & Coni sowing Truth is starting to suggest a fruitful harvest.

We just finished a 4 day retreat with the Kids’ Club leaders: six guys and four girls 18-28 years old. They lead a “kids club” once a week – like a day camp every Tuesday afternoon, originally focused on the street kids who have very little to be doing with their time. About 180 kids come to the house every week to hear stories from the Word, sing songs, learn in small groups, and leave with homework to work on and bring back the next week. At the end of the year, they have a test and everyone who passes the test gets to go to camp – a new and enthusiastically received experience for Tanzanian youth.

We ran the retreat in the same building that will be used for the Hope of the Nations Bible College. We had an amazing time. For Brooke and I it was a return to the dorm life. Late night conversations, honest questions, hours of quiet time, reading, and journaling - these leaders want to know, want to grow, and feel a weighty responsibility to teach accurately.

The curriculum was prepared based on what the leaders had told us they wanted to teach at Kids’ Club over the next few months. But within the first seminar and throughout all devotional times, their questions focused very specifically on God’s Grace. True Grace is simply not taught here because the churches are afraid that their people will simply take grace and run, continuing to live their lives doing whatever they want. So salvation is what is always taught because if you sin, you are no longer saved until you again ask for forgiveness. Salvation they have, but they have been stranded like a 2 year incapable of an honest, mature relationship with their Creator - thus their spiritual depth runs no deeper than the top soil. It struck me in these conversations that while we know this form of “Grace” to be untrue, and we spent these four days taking them through the Scriptures (Ephesians 2, Romans 5 and 6, Hebrews 10, etc.), we still often live our lives this way. I still feel pressure to earn the love and gift of God, though He has already given it to me. I still think I have to make myself worthy, though I will never be worthy of the gift He has given me. Instead of allowing myself the freedom of digging into a relationship with Him, I keep myself at a distance because I don’t feel worthy to have that which He has already given to me. How sad for God, how sad for Kigoma, how sad for me. It was a poignant reminder of the need for the Bible College that we are working on beginning here. Hopefully 15-20 pastors will be here in March beginning English classes (they need to have a decent understanding of English to make themselves available to the many resources that exist - resources in Swahili are basically non-existent) and preparing their personal hearts for a program of in-depth Biblical training. They need to understand all the Word teaches about who God is, and in light of this, who we are, so they can in turn teach their congregations from a strong foundation. They treat the Bible the way Israel treated the Law, as scriptures focused on our life and behavior rather than scriptures that reveal a beautiful Creator. Please keep Africa before the Father; He has many very young children here who don’t know that He loves them enough not just to save them, but to have them grow into His mature sons and daughters.

He SPOKE and …

2007-01-15T06:09:00.000-08:00

… then there were tall creatures moving with an awkwardly gangly grace (giraffes), curious stripe-clad joggers (zebras), and deceptively cantankerous waders who wiggle their ears (hippos). How Great and Majestic must this Person be for His WORDS to have this effect.

This week we took a break from ‘normality’ and went to Katavi National Park – an animal reserve about 11 hours away. We passed through some amazing countryside, dotted only occasionally with a village, fields or baboons. This is the rainy season, so the dirt/mud/muck roads-turned-riverbeds wrought a bit of havoc on our bodies, but thanks to the power of the land cruiser and the skill of Harold’s driving, sore muscles were all we suffered.

Feeling once again like we must be experiencing someone else’s life, we cruised through Katavi sitting atop the jeep – a whole day looking out over amazing creatures with nothing between us and them except open air. The terrain alone would have been stunning … exactly how you imagine African plains, except a vibrant GREEN due to the rains. The clouds were large and heavy all day, but the rain held back until the late afternoon. At the edge of the plains we entered a valley literally teeming with wildlife – it’s likely that I’ve never used the word “teeming” so accurately before. And there was no “giraffe section” or “zebra section” and so on – no, they were all out there together, checking us out, running away (or charging – only one water buffalo had that look in his eye – oh, and one hippo!), and giving us quite a show as we drove by with wide eyes and huge smiles.

The creature we were told to least expect were lions. They are already the most difficult and unlikely animal to see, but especially at this season with the high grasses - even the park guides warned us not to get our hopes up because you could walk/drive within 5 feet of one and never know it. But sure enough, we spotted a few lionesses out near a watering hole towards the end of the day. As we stopped and all gathered atop the jeep to see them (about 20 yards away), we realized they had cubs … and immediately they got into protective formation. Quite fascinating to see “live” – each of the three females quickly took her place in a protective perimeter. Then to our surprise we noticed another young cub cross the road in front of us, and just a moment later heard a growl that undoubtedly contained a warning – and just as surely did not come from the lionesses we could see. It’s amazing that one sound could effectively make your heart race and stop at the same moment. We didn’t waste any time looking for the source of the warning within the 5-foot tall grasses ... Harold quickly got back in the driver’s seat and we were off. Once we were all safe behind the doors and windows, we went back for another, closer look at the lionesses and their cubs – after a few more threatening paces and snarls, they decided we were not a threat, so they relaxed and didn’t begrudge our snapping cameras and giddiness at having come across them.

What a gift it was to be able to see all this. Truly phenomenal. And all because He SPOKE.

Normality

2007-01-09T04:53:00.000-08:00

I know we’re still in the middle of Africa, but still this is the closest to “normal” life we’ve had since we left the States. Mainly because it’s the longest we’ve stayed in one place since we started.

Yesterday I got to chat with JP, one of my awesome friends from home. Ahhh, refreshment to the soul. I realized how much we really are seeing and learning, even though we feel like we’ve slowed down into a “normal” setting. So I thought I’d sit down and write out all that life has entailed for us the last few weeks, if for nothing else than to remind myself. Each day has a different combination of brainstorming, preaching/teaching, planning, writing curriculum, laying figurative foundations, defining goals, walks through town, and engaging with the locals who stop by. But that’s just what the hands, feet and eyes are experiencing … the heart is taking in plenty of different stuff …

Let’s start by going back to Christmas – a holiday that’s not celebrated by giving gifts, so there’s no decorations down “main street” (the one paved street ), no flashy sales signs in the market stalls. But the churches were full Christmas morning, and if you listened carefully, you could hear songs coming from different parts of the valley.

The people in town – most greet us warmly with a friendly “Karibu” (welcome). The kids wave enthusiastically and giggle. Many practice their English “good mornings” with a smile. Most adults give away a sheepish grin when their surprise shows at us greeting them in Swahili (though it doesn’t take long for us to deplete our 4 word vocabulary). The begging is not nearly as frequent as you’d expect amidst the obvious poverty. The salespeople at the markets are happy to see you come, but are refreshingly laid back and not pushy to make a sale.

Faces of the Knepper home – it is expected that “Wizungu” (foreigners) would provide employment to nationals. At first, it felt odd to come into a home that was “staffed”, and Harold & Coni have shared about their own adjustment to it, but it’s been really wonderful to see how they have used each opportunity for relationships – in many ways they are like a mother/father to most of the staff, teaching them how to take care of money, how to be responsible, helping them go to school, teaching them more about the Father, and leading them to lead others.

Mama Jean (all mothers are called by the name of their first born, so for instance, Coni is “Mama Joshua”) is their incredible cook … she has won us over with the flavors she can bring out of even cabbage! She has six children, and she is the sole supporter. Her husband lives in the Congo, and comes home only every few years (not an uncommon thing here). She seems to understand a lot of English, but speaks very little, so the best we can do is exchange smiles each morning and a quick “Habari?” (how are you).

Moses guards and cares for the property during the day. He is about 21 years old and has a smile that belies the life he savors. When they moved here a year and a half ago, he was a depressed and confused young man (his father had just died, leaving him to care for the family), but he has come to know the Lord and is starting to understand –and teach - Amazing Grace. He is eager to learn just about everything … especially Bible and guitar. Last week Moses cut Jason’s hair in the salon he built last year – Jason was his first “Mizungu” to be served in the salon. And he did a great job! Oh yeah, and he’s got chicken (“kuku”) catching down to an art.

Kids’ Club Leaders. Every week about one to two hundred kids attend Kids’ Club here at the ministry house. There are ten leaders who shepherd them - all local students whom Harold & Coni have been discipling in their time here. They are a fun group (Moses is among them), and next week we’re all putting on a leadership retreat for them – last summer they experienced their first summer camp, and this will be their first retreat. We are excited to use some of the fun and purposeful tools of team building and teaching with them.

Jackson is the translator I had the opportunity to work with during our women’s seminar. He was a great sport in a room full of women with lessons directed towards women. In fact, several times throughout the two days he would pause and say “that’s a good point” before going on to translate that point . He has two young boys (2 years and 3 months), and his passion is social work among children.

Mwenge is “chief of staff’ for another ministry here in town, “Joy in the Harvest”. He is a crack-up! Always a huge smile, and always poking fun. He leads a youth group that we’ll be speaking with next Sunday, and we’ve already been forewarned of the glee he finds in playing devil’s advocate with the speakers :).

Spiritual climate – the name of J is well known here. The Truth of who He is and how to be secure in Him is not as well known. They do have the Word in Swahili, but many don’t read, so they rely on the pastors’ words. The thing is, the word “pastor” is loosely granted … in fact, I don’t think we’ve met a single young man in a church who didn’t introduce himself as “pastor”. There are some who are true leaders who love the Lord and take their task seriously, but the majority have little or no training, so of course in turn have a difficult time accurately presenting the Word. So there is a great hunger, among teachers and congregation alike, for depth and knowledge. Every time we have attended a fellowship, we have been treated as honored guests. I’d like to say it was because we were the only guests, but truth be told, we are “honored” because of our white skin. So that means sitting up front instead of among the people, which is honestly quite awkward. It also means you WILL be asked to speak, whether they expected you or not. At first this, too, was difficult to accept – but one of the local men gave me a really good perspective when he said “use the fact that they want to hear from you – they won’t ask me to speak if I walk in, so instead of fighting that they ask you, no matter whether their reason is good or not, use it”. I still think there’s a lot of unintended harm that westerners have done by doing things for people instead of teaching them to do it for themselves, but his perspective helped me better appreciate the actions of the local fellowship.

Monkeys – I can’t leave out the monkeys. Yesterday we spent the afternoon and evening at the beachfront (Lake Tanganyika, looking across to the Congo – fabulous sunset) and not only was the water amazingly refreshing in this world where sweating means you’re drinking enough water, but the monkeys came down to the water’s edge at dusk and entertained us with a playful wrestling match.

As I finish this out, the Kids’ Club is getting started outside. I wish you could hear the rythym of the clapping and the voices singing. Yes, I used the word normal when I started writing. And it is normal life – just on the other side of the world :).

More & More

2007-01-04T06:30:00.000-08:00

The more I watch and learn, the more the power of indigenous-ness (copyright on that word pending) is impressed upon me. This leads to two still budding but important realizations for me …

Numero Uno. Non-westerners need to know they are called AND equipped to reach those that surround them … it is not the job of those with more money, or more training, or more anything. In fact, as I write this, I realize it is something westerners need to learn too. It would be silly to be sitting next to my friend Coni and tell someone that they should go inside to Harold so that he could introduce them to her because he knows more about her and has known her longer, when I am sitting right there and can introduce her myself. But that is what so many of us do when talking about introducing someone to our Savior … we feel like someone else is better trained, better equipped, to do that. True, there is always someone with more training, more equipping, and we should be striving to increase those resources of our brothers and sisters around the world, but we dare not forget that those chosen by our Lord were the common men and women, equipped simply with the knowledge of Him who saves and His Holy Spirit.

Numero Dos. To find ways to maximize my own indigenous-ness. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve always heard the “it’s just as important to reach out to your neighbor as it is to move to Africa” as a cozy pat on the back to everyone who doesn’t “want” to be on the foreign field. But I’m realizing that I can reach out to my neighbor in ways that someone from another country could not, and vice versa. A truth misused doesn’t make it untrue.

The Mamas

2007-01-04T06:27:00.000-08:00

Several years ago I realized and admitted that I would love to be a woman who shared life with other women as a speaker ... of course, with that kind of admission came waves of fears – of looking (or worse, being) foolish; of having nothing worthwhile to say; of saying I wanted to do something but never having the chance (wait, I think that’s the foolishness fear again). So it’s entirely humorous to me that my first opportunity to speak at a women’s conference would be with a Swahili translator in the middle of Africa. In front of women who are not critiquing style, humor, how I look, or whether I have something interesting of my own to say … but women (“mamas”) simply hungry for the Word. Stories that have become Sunday-school recitations to so many of us were like fresh drops of water to them … Tamar, Rahab, Ruth & Bathsheba. Several times throughout the two-day seminar we would pause to ask questions about previous sessions for the benefit of those who came in late, or had to be in and out with crying babies. Their answers – especially the depth of detail they retained – astounded me.

While they hunger and thirst for more of the Word, there still reigns a tremendous fear of losing their salvation … likely that the one contributes to the other. The more fear, the more desperate for hearing God’s Word; the more the Truth is taught, the less legitimate grip fear has on them. When you listen to women talk about fear of going to hell because of one un-forgiven sin, it’s pretty silly to feel afraid of … well, just about anything else, really.

On the Horizon

2006-12-27T03:22:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas is over. It’s time to put the music, tree, ornaments, gifts, and movies away and get back to serious business, for we are serious people . God was good to us this year to give us a “second family” to celebrate with. For the Barneys, Millers, and Apsleys please know how much you were missed and thought of. We look forward to coming home and celebrating holidays with you again soon…

As I was sitting in church about to preach on Christmas Eve it dawned on me … Uncle Jeff would be preaching that morning, Dad would be conducting and leading the choir, Jeff was probably playing organ, Stacey was probably singing and or playing bell choir, Jennifer was probably taking care of power point, Casey might be doing music in Big Bear; I realized that there in church I was with family by extension - as each of us was with the family of God, so also we were together.

Preaching went well on Sunday and Monday. By “well” I mean I didn’t faint, and I learned a lot all week while I was studying. A few of you have asked what I preached on and for those who asked I will send you a copy of my notes. But for this blog I wanted to highlight one point I taught on Christmas day.

We were looking at the responses given in scripture to the Birth of Christ. I have always thought of it as Shepherds, Wise men, and Herod. For whatever reason, this was the first time I realized that Herod called together the Jewish Scribes and Priests to ask them where the King was to be born when the wise men show up at his palace. They answer him with the prophecy listed in Micah 5. And then the wise men go to find him, and the Priests stay home? Men who have devoted their lives to teaching Israel about the Messiah choose to ignore the truth when He comes. Even Herod believes the truth about the Messiah being born as seen in the drastic action he takes in killing the baby boys in Bethlehem. This struck me with the question, “Are we willing to allow the change that comes when God moves in our life, or would we rather ignore the truth to stay comfortable?”

We’ll be BUSY for the next two months here … we’re so excited … kids’ club, pastor’s seminars, women’s seminars, village trips … and two of the bigger projects we expect to be working on will be to get a fledgling Bible college off the ground and prepare to establish a youth camp here in Keseke.

Youth Camp … most of you have heard us talk about Eagle Ridge, the camp project we have been working intensively with for the past year. Once again, it “just so happens” that while the camp Board was praying and seeking ways to engage with international youth and use camping as a tool to reach them with the Gospel, that Harold & Coni were provided with land for a youth camp. As far as we know, there is no other ministry focused on the youth here, so we are very excited to explore the potential and connect as many dots as possible for Eagle Ridge to partner in this.

Bible College … the building has been found and rented, and now come the nitty-gritty details to prepare for students. The purpose of this school is to teach current African pastors in high-impact short term classes so they can go back into their areas and disciple their own flock. Africa has shallow spiritual roots because they have very few people to help them grow in depth and maturity. The need for discipleship has become very apparent in the past few years. While we work on this, their top translator and right hand man, Gabriel, will be leaving for the States late January/early February to study for a year at Calvary Chapel Bible College in Murrieta. For the year this is a big loss to them, but with a year of intensive study, Gabe will be an invaluable part of the ministry here. He is hilarious and hopefully when we get back we can introduce him to many of you; he is a joy to know. He will have a few months off in the summer, and we are hoping to take him to many of the churches that support Harold and Coni, so they can meet him and hear his heart about the work Harold and Coni are doing in this region, and the work the Father is doing throughout Africa.

In the meantime, here’s to sweating in 85 degree temperature with 75 percent humidity.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2006-12-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

This is the first Christmas either of us has been away from home … or as we’ve decided, “home” just has a new definition now. This year that means no snow or mistletoe, and dearly missed kin, but what a gift to still be sharing it with family here. Harold & Coni made it home (without needing surgery!) on Saturday, so we resumed the celebrations.

Today’s festivities included a Christmas Day service where Jason delivered the morning message, a baptism at the lake, card games and dominoes, a true feast compliments of Coni’s creativity and the electricity lasting long enough to finish cooking it, and even a few surprise gifts!

Merry Christmas, everyone. Know you are loved and missed …

Santa Claus & The Easter Bunny

2006-12-25T22:28:00.000-08:00

A fat man who lives at the North Pole with elves who make toys all year long … yeah, try explaining that one to a native African. Moses is an extremely inquisitive young man who wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to ask this American girl staying in his friends’ home all about who Santa Claus is, why people celebrate Christmas if they don’t believe in the One it celebrates, what the Christmas tree is all about, and somehow we got to the Easter bunny.

And here’s the best I could boil it all down to – that all these things, notwithstanding the fun and silliness that we can all enjoy (I have happy memories of my Pa stomping on the roof with jingle bells, confirming that jolly St. Nick was visiting), are just ways to ignore what it would mean to encounter Truth. Jason has been preparing his Christmas message for Monday’s service, and I’ll give it away to those who won’t make it to the service in person …

There are four responses in Matthew & Luke to our Savior’s birth. Those who hear the glory and immediately respond with joy and celebration. Those who study and search and find Him at the end of a long journey. Those who have devoted their whole lives to looking for Him but refuse to change their lives when they have the chance to encounter Him. And those who recognize the Truth and do everything in their power to oppose it.

Different cultures may approach this holiday differently, but those responses can still be found, whether they’re disguised as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny or something else a bit easier to describe.

Africa the Beautiful

2006-12-18T22:20:00.000-08:00

Only three days in and we’re quite taken with the corner of Africa known as Tanzania. Particularly the Kigoma region, on the shore of Lake Tanganyika. We still have much to learn and explore among the red-dirt lanes, straw-thatched roofs, and lush green fields.

Harold & Coni greeted us with the perfect amount of TLC, including Christmas music playing, a wonderful warm dinner, and an evening to just talk and laugh and share about our Father’s work in each of our lives since we were with them in Cape Town. The next morning Jason & I attended our first Sunday service in Swahili. The accapella music, accompanied only by the amazingly rhythmic hands and feet of the clapping and dancing congregation, was refreshing to the soul, to say the least. Jason did a fabulous job as he presented the morning message on Colossians 3 – the difference the world should see in those who have been redeemed. His first – but not last – time with a Swahili interpreter . They asked to hear from me as well and I was able to tell my brief memory of the first Christmas I learned what it was all about … when I was 5, my mom and dad (Mama & Babe – only Swahili words I know yet) gave me a storybook called “The Christmas Donkey” – my personal treasure, and I still remember the innocent awe I had when I realized why we celebrated.

Yesterday brought an unexpected change of plans. Harold has been in quite a lot of pain from a kidney stone, and had to be hospitalized night before last. He and Coni left yesterday for Nairobi, Kenya, the nearest facility that has the means to care for him. Internet and power's been down so we don't have more news yet, but we’re hopeful to hear that he won’t require surgery. For them, this means the obvious pain and set-back of whatever it takes to get well. For us, it means we’ve found ourselves the unsuspecting master and mistress of a home in Africa until they return. Jason will likely be teaching on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and we hope to be involved in Christmas preparations this week with the local community of believers, but with that does come the internal challenge of seeking creative and pro-active means of using our week in a place that is still so new. So, soon it will be our turn to welcome the weary travelers with some TLC … until then, we will be immersed in this new world and look forward to our Father being glorified despite/through this turn in the road.

The Silver Cup

2006-12-18T22:17:00.000-08:00

There once was a magnificent Kingdom ruled by a great King. The King’s son was soon to be married and the King wanted to give him a gift worthy of a Princely wedding. The King was a master craftsman gifted in shaping lumps of precious material into the most beautiful objects. He decided to create silver cups for each of the guests to drink from at the wedding feast. He set to work on finishing 1,000 silver cups. When he finished, though very tired, he smiled with satisfaction knowing this was a good gift for the Prince’s wedding. The King wrapped each cup individually and then covered them over in the cellar to protect them until the wedding.

Now this King was not without an enemy. Upon learning of the Prince’s wedding, the King’s enemy sought a way to ruin the gift the King prepared for his son. He knew the cups were made of such quality that nothing would be able to destroy them – the workmanship was too fine and the superiority of the metal to any of his own weapons that any attempt to damage the cups would be futile. However, he knew their value and purpose would be lost if he only uncovered them and exposed them to the elements of nature. Several weeks before the great wedding feast, this enemy made his way to the cellar through cover of shadow and darkness, and unwrapped each precious cup.

The eve of the wedding came and the King took his son to the cellar to present him with his gift. But as they arrived they saw the cover had been pulled back and each cup exposed. The enemy had thrown dirt and oil upon them and the silver had begun to tarnish. The King cried at the loss and then called his servants to take the cups away as they were no longer worthy to be drunk from by even the lowliest of men, let alone used at a royal wedding. But the son looked at his father with a soft and quiet heart and said, “Father, let me take the cups, and each one will I carefully take time with. The quality of the cup is good; I will remove the tarnish and redeem the cups. I will restore them to their original value.”

The Prince did just that. All night long he washed and scrubbed each cup. Removing all of the sludge and dirt, he scrubbed so hard his hands bled. The blood mingled with the water was the perfect combination to scrub away the dirt. On the morning of the wedding the sun peaked over the hill and gleamed over 1000 perfect silver cups.

The King came to the Prince and rejoiced with him. “You have restored my gift, you have redeemed the cups. Truly they are once again worthy for the royal guests to drink the royal wine.”

Leaving Rajkot

2006-12-14T02:39:00.000-08:00

We spent the weekend in Delhi with Peter & Heather Malakar, then took a 21+ hour train ride back here to Rajkot. Now it’s time to say goodbye and head to Tanzania. We are both sad to say goodbye to the Dave family, but also excited to be in Kigoma and part of the Kneppers’ life there for a couple months.

Hard to believe Christmas is just around the corner. Devsmita decorated her first Christmas tree this week and it was great fun to be part of it with her – including a shining star at the top, reminding us of the manger where our King was born.

It would be impossible to explain how dear the Dave family has become to us. Their friendship is a new treasure, and we look forward to continuing it despite the miles.

Inquiries

2006-12-14T02:20:00.000-08:00

Everywhere we’ve gone in India and Nepal the question is “From which country?”. Most of the time it’s out of pure curiosity and nothing more. It’s like our question of “What do you do?” – but here in the East, it’s more important where you come from. When it’s a sweet giggling child who just wants to practice their English, or a young teenager who has honest wide-eyed fascination about where we come from, it can be endearing. In fact, one of the cutest things is the young teenage girls who practice their “Hello”, and then when I say it back, they giggle like they’ve been caught.

But unfortunately, many have also been tainted and jaded to see Americans as a source to take from. In one neighborhood, the children said “Hello-one-Rupee” as if it was all one word – a standard greeting. Another unabashed boy (and I’m not talking about the street begging children, mind you, but well dressed school children) TOLD me to give him ten rupees. An intellectual/emotional battle rages each time a young hand begs, especially in light of Scripture that tells us to give freely as we have freely received. Emotionally you want to believe that giving will help, but intellectually you know it will not. This was proven to us when we went to the Nepali village that as of yet remains un-jaded by tourism. We could see in living person the fresh innocence that these children still had and how zealously it needs to be guarded.

Perhaps the most interesting inquiry of all, though, was a Tibetan monk who stopped us and asked “From which country?”. When Jason said “USA”, he said “Oh, a rich country.” We instinctively bristled for what he would then ask for, but instead he said “I am from Tibet, so I have no country. You are twice blessed. You both have a country and it is a rich country.” He spoke with a toothy smile and then just walked away leaving us humbly chagrined.

Fun with B&J

2006-12-07T10:54:00.000-08:00

We leave Kathmandu tomorrow - back to India for a week before heading to Tanzania! A week that is already full and promises to go by as fast as this one did. It feels like we just arrived, taking in the mountains and the valleys that accentuate their heights.

We simply can not leave here without telling you about our friends Bea & Jan (pronounced Bay-ah and Yon). They are such fun and we have had a tremendous week with them as they've fit us in to their very full work weeks! They both work in Human Rights - Bea works for the UN and Jan for Peace Brigade International. Bea's work is focused specifically on the recruitment of children by the Maoist militia. Before that she investigated detention and torture. We have had several fascinating discussions with her in learning about the work she does, including travelling to remote villages to interview families whose children "volunteered" to join the Maoists. It can be frustrating to hear about the UN as a whole and wonder how much effect they can truly have when for the most part their decisions come with little or no enforcement. But as Bea shared, if even a few lives are better/saved because of the work they do, it is worth it. Hearing the real-life encounters brings a totally new dimension.

But they're not all work and no play ... oh no, we have had so much fun exploring the city by night, laughing over fabulous dinners, talking through life and faith and relationships, hiking out to Changu Narayan, and flying up to see Mt. Everest ... we are so grateful for all this week has brought, both in new experiences and new friendships.

Perspectives

2006-12-06T10:43:00.000-08:00

Bhandipur is a little village on top of a hill ridge facing the Himalayan mountains. A four hour bus ride and 30 min jeep drive (by this I mean standing on a tail gate holding on for dear life while the wind splashes your face with reminders you’re alive) away from Kathmandu, this quaint little village remains relatively untouched and unaffected by the tourist culture so rampant in Kathmandu. Here Brooke and I were able to retreat for a day and night away.

The beauty of this little paradise, “where the jungle meets the Himalayas”, is remarkable. Here is the antithesis of the smog filled and noise polluted capital city. Our room boasted a view over the entire valley facing the snow capped mountains.

That evening we climbed up a mountain to a local Buddhist shrine to watch the sunset. While sitting atop the mountain we used our time singing praise and Christmas songs. We were both mesmerized by the beauty before our eyes and by the words of Psalm 95, “He melts the mountains like wax”. Hard to believe when what is in front of you towers 8000+ kilometers. Other passages like “God above all gods” likewise take on new meaning when you are sitting aside a now replaced shrine to another.

The next morning we awoke before sunrise and bundled ourselves out on our patio to watch the mountains change color across a sea of clouds covering the valley. We have indulged in time of contemplation and prayer over who He is and who He has made us to be.

And then … CRASH! and SWISH! in the trees nearby. Our eager eyes soon found that the cause were 3 jumping monkeys, perhaps also out to get a good view of their valley so early in the morning. Brooke spent at least 30 minutes silently willing them back into view. They eventually left and on a whim, Brooke decided to go out the front door for a “just in case they went this way” peak. What met her there brought her running back to get me. Just outside our room, amid tall and thin pine trees, was a true MYRIAD of monkeys (30 or more?) … playing, swinging, chattering to one another … and eventually getting away from us as fast as possible. All ages, looked like a family group. They mesmerized us as their only audience for the rest of the early morning. It was … “totally wicked!” (Incredibles).

We then took a hike from the village down – a steep, nearly vertical down - to the town where we picked up the jeep the day before. The hike took a few hours and led us through all kinds of green plants and trees. Again, stunningly beautiful and spiritually contemplative:

Most of the contemplation has centered on the bold nature by which Christianity has claimed itself as the only path to God. This stands in stark contrast to the many religions that share a “many paths lead to the same place” view. Thus leaving itself in the position of either being totally true or totally false. We have both been reading Ravi Zacharias’ book “Jesus Among Other Gods”. So far, much food for thought.

A second line of thought has focused on the concept of m-work. I think we both have a new conviction about it within our own culture, as well as the importance of strengthening home grown m-work abroad. No one understands a culture better than one born in it. Granted the message of Truth transcends culture but who better to share that message than your family? (family: a concept somewhat lost in the West. This includes but is not limited to brother, sister, cousin, uncle, aunt, nephew, niece, neighbor, friend, stranger in need, etc., but I digress.)

After scrambling down the jungle-mountain and contemplating He who made it all, we hailed a bus to Kathmandu and begin the trek back. My spiritually calm world shattered with the blaring bus stereo of the same repeating bad songs for the next few hours. We then got stuck in a traffic jam on the mountain road. Next was the return to the choking smog filling our lungs and permeating our clothes. Finally we drove past 2 motorcyclists lying on the pavement. It was a fresh accident – likely fatal. One of them was probably 18.

Life is loud, it traps you from where you want to go, it clogs your senses, it abruptly ends. But we who know the truth know that our home is on the mountain. It SHOULD shock us to leave our home and make way for the city in the valley. We are called to live there for a time, but to remember from whence we came. Perhaps more shocking is when the city feels as comfortable to us as our own bedroom.

Indigenous-ness

2006-12-06T08:36:00.000-08:00

Pretty sure that's not a proper word, but it nonetheless encapsulates a new realization for me. I am reading Steve Saint’s book “The Great Omission”, which presents a challenging and honest re-evaluation of m-work. My response and thoughts are still in progress, but I can say this much – I have never before recognized myself as an indigenous person. Never before pondered that as one who is indigenous to North America, I am thereby the most natural to reach my fellow North Americans. The Father already has my “yes” to anywhere He wants me to be, even with my wider-open eyes of how hard it would be in certain places, so this is not a cop-out that would allow me to stay in my cozy home in America. It’s truly a brand-new thought for me – I am uniquely equipped to reach someone across a Starbucks table … I’d just never seen it that way before.

What follows is nothing more and nothing less than a stream of consciousness that my reading and experiences have recently generated (by the way, I haven’t finished Steve’s book, but do recommend it).

Somehow, our faith has become seen as a “western” religion. But in fact we are among those who were once un-reached and now are, are we not? I wonder if forgetting this has not allowed for a bit of arrogance (did the chicken or the egg come first?) in how the American Ch approaches “reaching the un-reached”. How is “un-reached” even determined? I don’t know the answer to this. Does it mean we have no recorded proof that the Good News was delivered to that region? People? Isn’t even that a bit arrogant to think that if we don’t know whether they’ve ever been reached, then for sure it means they have not? He said His Word WILL be taught to all nations. What is a nation? And does He mean all at the same time period in history? And what about the knowledge that so many will hear and yet reject? Are the places and people I now consider un-reached actually people who have heard and already rejected? For those who truly never have heard the Good News, how best can that be delivered? Is it through the models I’ve been accustomed to? And as a result of Paul’s journeys to the Gentiles (is that not what the American Ch ultimately is?), what advice would he now offer us if he were to pen the book of “Americans”? I expect I will step on a lot of toes with these ramblings, but mine are getting the first bruises. The Father’s heart for the lost is unquestionable, and as His child, there is no question of IF, but HOW to then seek ways to bring His Truth and Relationship to this world. So chime in …

Oh wow

2006-11-30T10:06:00.000-08:00

Flew into Kathmandu, Nepal, today. The Himalayas spread out before us in full glory and sharp clarity - something Bea says she's never seen from the plane because the air is usually clouded by pollution. By the time we exited the airport, the setting sun was turning the peaks pink and all I could think was "Oh wow."

Plans & Steps

2006-11-28T11:06:00.000-08:00

“A man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9.

Sovereignty. Freedom. Responsibility. Choice. Will. Desire. How does He lead? Is it through one, another, or all of the above? This year we’ve really been learning that He is either sovereign in everything, or sovereign in nothing. The very term ‘sovereign’ does not leave room for any other option. Yet we decide what time to get up each morning, what activities to invest our time into, and what attitude to bring to it all.

For us this week, we faced a few curveballs in our plans. First, we hit many roadblocks in making our way to Nepal – the frustration turned into comedy as we hit dead end after dead end and finally stopped, wondering if Someone was trying to get our attention and send our steps another direction. Well, it turns out that we ARE still going to Nepal, just a few days later than planned, which “just so happens” to have allowed us to physically rest, take care of visas at embassies here in Delhi, and actually get tickets at a cheaper rate than we first were trying in vain to plan. Second, when we got our visa to China this morning, we discovered it will only be valid for 3 months, not the 6 we had applied for. So, we called our friends in China and it “just so happens” that it is actually far better for them to have us come in that window of time instead of when we were trying to coordinate it.

Are these matters of the Father’s “will”? Would we have been “out of His will” if we had pushed through and forced a way to Nepal earlier, or if we had re-applied for another visa when it fit our time schedule? Not according to His Word. But still time and time again we can all attest to making plans and then having our steps “diverted”, often in ways we can identify as being for good. Tonight Heather Malakar gave a study on understanding what the Word says about the Father’s will in situations where it’s not a matter of moral/immoral … a lesson in the freedom we have to make decisions and choices based on the wisdom He provides and resting in the security of His sovereignty. A worldview that is based on the Word will recognize that the Father’s ultimate will reaches far beyond what physical steps we take (i.e., His eternal plan), and yet He is not far removed from our daily lives. He has not abandoned our physical steps and choices – while often it is not a matter of “right” or “wrong”, nonetheless His hand can often be seen through interruptions or derailments of our plans. This is not an excuse to live as though we’re not responsible for our choices, because clearly scripture teaches we are. But it is a gift in this world where changes can be frustrating, tiring, even disillusioning, to recognize we serve a Father who is detail-oriented.

"God's sovereignty and man’s responsibility are asserted side by side in scripture (Acts 2:23; 4:27-28). Whether or not we can put them together in our minds, we must accept both truths.” - Heather Malakar

Forts, Camels, & Rooftops

2006-11-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

This week we explored Rajasthan with Rhishi, Hetal, Devsmita & Lata. We started in Rajkot and traveled overnight by bus to Jodphur, where we visited an incredible fort that is about 500 years old. Check out the pictures – we wonder whether people who lived in structures like this realized tourists would someday swarm through with cameras.

We then went to Jasilmer (sp?), which is about 100 km or less from the Pakistan border. It was odd to trade cows, tractors, and motorcycles for military convoys, tanks, etc. as our roadside companions. There another fort, accurately compared to a giant sand castle, dominates the desert town.

In Jasilmer, we celebrated Rhishi & Hetal’s 11th wedding anniversary by taking an overnight camel safari. We were granted special permission to go on the “non-tourist” version … they set up safaris for all the foreigners, but the Indian travelers have their own. So we set out to the sand dunes via camel to catch the sunset before turning into camp where we were treated to Rajasthani music, dancing and dinner. We were even convinced to try a dance or two … Hetal is a good teacher! We had such fun with Rhishi & Hetal, laughing (both at those dancing around us and then at ourselves) and playing & ending the evening gazing up at an incredible display of stars … an entire canopy, stretching from horizon to horizon, teasing you with the impression that if you just went far enough to the “edge”, you could simply reach up and grab a star in your hand.

Perhaps to the surprise of our hosts, some of our favorite times have been late nights out on the rooftops of the hotels … just getting to talk through life and faith. The other night we were privileged to share the good news with our new but already dear friends. We explained to them that it’s been difficult for our hearts to watch man made images receive worship. To see religion swarm around us without the personal relationship we know the Father desires with each one of His children. We’ve been committing Acts 17:22-31 to memory, where Paul lays such a strong connection between ways in which man seeks God, and the Truth by which He has made himself known.

Traffic

2006-11-28T11:04:00.000-08:00

“You know how it feels when you just crossed six lanes of dangerous traffic – exhilaration, relief, & a bit of nervousness that you actually made it. Well, I feel like I’m standing in a torrent of traffic with about 50 lanes on either side. Something to dodge at every move, & at times near paralysis. The cars that dart by at seemingly reckless speeds are discomfort, fear, disease, bugs, filth, idol worship - & every few minutes a semi-truck with the power packed question of “Could you allow this to be your life if I asked it of you?”. Of course, I know the answer … I dare not have any answer but yes. I’m not going to lie, I don't want to spend my life in a developing country, but I DARE NOT prioritize the comforts of this world in exchange for the next. And so I stand in the middle of the insane traffic, willing myself to remember that yes, I may get hit by one or many cars, or even flattened by the semi, but that if I focus on that, I will indeed lose my mind. I MUST focus on the One who wants to hold my hand in the midst of the torrent. He can only have my hand if my arms aren’t wrapped snugly around myself … but ah, even then He can still hold me, can’t He?”

This was my journal of Nov. 23. Many, myself included, might look at it and say “A bit dramatic, Brooke, don’t you think? You’ve only been in a developing country for a week, you’re being spoiled with care and attention from your hosts, and SO many have faced SO much worse.” All true. India has struck my weaknesses and left me humbled. I can hardly express how much more I respect those who are dedicating their lives to foreign fields for our Father’s sake. With Him all things are possible. But not all things are easy. Please, think of those you know who are workers overseas – write them, call them, be on your knees for them, read books about their location/people group … just don’t forget them.

Just Diu (do) It

2006-11-20T00:47:00.000-08:00

Where South Africa was beautiful landscape everywhere you turned, India’s beauty lies within it’s people. The streets are often littered with trash. Cows, pigs, dogs, and other animals roam the streets at will. Big cities intent on modernizing the country clash with the surrounding slums and countryside. Don’t misunderstand, there is some beautiful countryside here. But the countryside is upstaged by the people. Everywhere you look the people show determination, pride, joy, and contentment. The clothes are colorful, matching the personalities that wear them. And never before have we had so many people sincerely concerned for our satisfaction and enjoyment - not just those we count as friends, but complete strangers, bus drivers, etc.

Our time with Rhishi’s family has been wonderful. There is such warmth here, they have done every thing they can to make us comfortable and at home. They have included us in their birthday celebrations and mourning rituals. They make two kinds of food each meal - one spicy and one not so Brooke can eat without sweating. They have been beyond generous with their time, money, and patience. What a joy it is to be here spending time with them.

This weekend we went to a Hindu temple in Somnath (4 hours away by bus – on the coast) and watched the morning service for waking one of their gods, Shiva. The temple was really beautiful set on the beach, with very intricate design. We have pictures of it on the link. Both Brooke and I were left with some curiosity about serving a god you have to wake up – it’s one thing to hear or read about it, but entirely another to watch it. We have talked a bit with Rhishi about his personal views. He is a good communicator and it is interesting to hear him talk about what he believes. He gave me a book that is one of the doctrines of the Hindu faith. It is very moral, and similar in essence to much of the Sermon on the Mount. We look forward to many more conversations of belief with Rhishi and his family…

From there we traveled to Diu, where you will see pictures of a few Portuguese Catholic churches and a Portuguese Fort. The churches where built in the 1600’s. It was interesting for us to look at them and all the statues of Mary and Jesus and the Apostles etc How would someone who is Hindu and prays to a Hindu idol recognize any difference when they see a “Christian” bowing and praying to a Christian idol? It opened up a place for us to discuss the difference in our personal belief from the belief shown in these churches.

You haven’t lived until you ride a state bus in India. There is no way to describe it but I will attempt. Take a 1972 church bus, rip out the suspension, then take nearly all of the paved roads in the U.S. and make them dirt roads that have been bombed for three or four days. Now while you are reading this have someone throw dirt on you and punch your kidney’s over and over. You haven’t lived until you ride a state bus in India.

Please keep praying for us. We begin the family vacation part tomorrow and Rhishi and I are both feeling ill. Head, chest cold stuff. We have had many late nights here and need some rest, but there is also much to see. Pray that Brooke will stay well. Pray for our next leg of our journey. After 5 more days traveling with Rhishi we go to Delhi to visit friends working there. On the 28th or 29th we travel to Nepal. We return to India around the 8th of December and then leave here probably on the 13th for Tanzania.